"Look Into My Pies" Alternative Ending!

Did you know that "Look Into My Pies," A.K.A. "The Hypnosis Sketch" originally had a different ending? I wrote *this* ending first, and my two proofreaders said they felt Cat Chaos was too harsh, too mean in it. As a result I re-worked it and used a different ending.

However I did RECORD the original ending - so here it is!

I'll let you be the judge, which do you prefer, this ending, or the YouTube ending? Do you think Cat Chaos was too harsh, or does Charm deserve all the hilarious misfortunes he subjects her to?

Mog Anarchy's Creative Writing Competition

Oi you lot, in the mood to be creative and win some Steam games? In honour of hitting my 1500 subscribers mark on YouTube, I’m running a little competition… A creative writing competition, to be exact. I want to see your amazing creativity channeled through your keyboards and presented in the form of lovely little stories, poems and plays...

EVERY entrant will receive a Steam key! I bought a big bundle of random keys (admittedly I have no idea what they are until they are redeemed, I can’t guarantee they’ll be triple A titles) - and thus have plenty spare! The one(s) I like the best will receive either a gift card or Steam wallet gift… or I’ll buy ‘em a game from their wishlist.

The only requirement I'm asking is that you make the main character of your story either me, Cat Chaos or Charm Agony. You may include all 3 of us, only one of us, any combination. Can be 1st or 3rd person and can be a piece of short prose or written in a script/play format with just dialogue or even some poetry!

Feel free to include your own original characters or any characters from games/comics/movies etc - feel free to be as realistic or as nonsensical as you want! And sure, if you really can't control yourself, I'll even allow more *ahem* adult content.

I'm not enforcing a strict word count limit or anything like that - but when I say “short,” I mean don't write half a novel. A couple of pages will do fine - double that if you're writing a script/screenplay style thing to account for the spacing.

I would like to read some of the entries out - perhaps in character, or as all of my characters doing a sort of “dramatic reading” type video or several videos… And if I *really* take to your idea… I may steal it and rework it into a skit! So bear that in mind, you lot!

Make sure you get your entries in by the 3rd of July!

Charm Agony's April Fool's Takeover

I'm a big fan of pranks - thus April Fool's Day is a great day for me. I mean, I'll pull pranks any day of the year, but having a day where it's expected of me? Hell yes.

With the advent of the Internet, the possibility for pranks became endless. Of course, no prank will ever beat the amazing "Spaghetti Harvest Documentary" by the BBC in 1957 - but I digress.

In March, I began writing a script for a 2-part video sketch in which Charm Agony took over my YouTube channel, Twitter, blog etc. And as it was Charm and she's dumb, she acquired it in a bit of a dodgy way - by me leaving it to her in a will. 

Now obviously I didn't expect anybody to believe this prank - the main goal was to confuse, amuse and potentially annoy. And I reckon it did that - but I had more than one message asking if I was actually changing my Twitter into Charm's... wut?

So step #1 was to record and post Charm's takeover video - "This Is MY YouTube Channel Now!" - a semi-scripted Charm Agony rant-style video complete with "previews" of what Charm intended to do with the channel now it was hers. Around half of the previews were genuine clips from videos that are in post-production or scheduled storage - the others were random ad-lib bits and pieces that I recorded just for this.

Step #2 was the re-branding of the Twitter and the YouTube - as you can see, I designed a basic pink and white banner for Charm, gave her a tagline and included a nice graphic of Cat Chaos' face with a no entry sign over it. Also, glitter. To complete the ruse I also altered the bio, changed the link to specifically go to Charm's page on this blog and changed the birthday to Charm's - June 10th, 1997.

Step #3 was to keep up the ruse by posting tweets as Charm and even sending DMs to people in the persona of Charm - which I admit I enjoyed way more than I should have. Incidentally, as I signed all of Charm's tweets as "- CA" and a kiss emoji - I now have the means to tweet as her on my own Twitter whenever I like, really. I may do that on occasion. The ruse had to continue until part 2 of the video sketch was completed, so it went on for 3 days...

The biggest obstacle in the way of getting part 2 of the video completed was a) Easter and b) the weather. I'd ordered some black gunge to use in place of the "tar," as I can pretty much make any colour of gunge... except black. It's really difficult to make a really thick and opaque black - so I bought some instead. This was delayed massively by the frigging Easter post - or more accurately, the lack thereof. The Royal Mail fucks off home on Good Friday, Easter Sunday (well, it's shut Sunday anyway) and Easter Monday... Also - the weather - it's April and thus it feels the need to piss down constantly. Filming the outdoor scenes was a nightmare.

(This video was flagged and removed by YouTube for "nudity and sexual content" - which we all know is complete and utter bullshit, so now it's uploaded to Vimeo so you lot can still watch it...)

But eventually it was all done - I uploaded the 2nd part of the sketch and returned my branding back to normal - Charm's little joke was over - but I personally will be a little sad to see it go. It was a lot of fun - and really gave me an opportunity to explore new aspects of Charm's character. She's really starting to grow on me - unfortunate perhaps for her detractors, but great news for her fans... yes, believe it or not, Charm has her own little fanbase. It's weird.

Now I can do my own make-up for Charm, I can more or less play her whenever I like. I'm now exploring different styles of content I can make with her - like the Charm Plays videos - somehow I can ad lib and maintain the accent 99% of the time for over 10 minutes of gameplay! I know, I'm impressed too. Charm now has a real name and a legitimate food allergy in the form of aubergines (or eggplants, as she calls them) - it's hard to flesh out a character like Cat Chaos whose facial expression never changes, as he's a mask... but with Charm I have a lot more freedom.

I'm also having lots of fun writing scripts and recording the skits - in addition to the usual slapstick routines and the "comedy" bits, I also want to try to see if I can do a scared Charm, a sad Charm - maybe even see if I can still do stage tears... We shall just have to wait and see. :)

Trick Or Treat (Original Short Story)

The following is a little story I wrote last year around Hallowe'en time - involving Cat Chaos and Charm Agony in a typical scenario. I've never published this anywhere before now - and to jazz it up a bit, I've illustrated it with some stills from my videos where Charm gets messed up. Perhaps one day I'll reenact this story for a video... :)

-----

Charm sneered, looking down at the group of excited children gathered round her. Of course, she was never one to miss out on a party - but she hadn't realised that the guy she had her eye on was throwing a Halloween party for his kid brother Sam.

“Come and play with us, Catherine!” Sam smiled, pointing to a game of bobbing for apples set up on the other side of the room.

“Uh, no.” Charm sighed, tossing her hair impatiently. “I don't play little kids games like that.”

Sam looked sad, his goofy clown make up doing nothing to hide his crestfallen expression.

“I like your dress, Catherine…” said Sally, somewhat shyly. She was dressed in a cute Anna from Frozen dress, her hair done up in a long braid.

“Like, of course you do, it's just like yours, except better.” Charm snapped.

“Oh look Timmy, a princess!” called Simon, who was holding his wriggling kid brother in his arms. Timmy was wearing a cute frog onesie, his face painted green. “You know, if you kiss a princess, you'll turn into a handsome prince.”

“Get lost.” Charm growled, taking a step backwards away from the drooling toddler, his face already sticky with various candy.

Sam bobbed back up again, holding a wooden pail. Inside was a whole bunch of chocolate bars. “Take one…” he said, somewhat reluctantly. “One of them has a prize in it.”

Charm held the foil-wrapped chocolate bar in her hand. Everybody at the Halloween party had been given one - rumour had it that one of them contained a special golden ticket, that would award the lucky winner with a fabulous prize. The wrapper simply read “TRICK OR TREAT” in large red letters, stylised to look like oozing blood.

Several of the other costumed partygoers had unwrapped their candy and to their disappointment, hadn't found a golden ticket inside. A few of the younger children, dressed as pirates or witches had cried, pouted and stamped their feet in a tantrum.

Charm smiled and slowly tore open one end of the chocolate. And sure enough, shimmering under the disco lighting, was a golden ticket. She pulled it out, laughing triumphantly. 

“I've won!”

She smirked smugly, waving her prize tauntingly at the children and younger partygoers before taking a large, triumphant bite of the chocolate bar. She chewed it thoughtfully, enjoying the rich and creamy flavour dancing on her tongue. 

Then came another flavour. A flavour that wasn't quite right. She looked down at her ticket - which was now a hazy blur of red and gold in her hand. The glowering faces of the other partygoers melted and warped into one. The room spun, the loud music began to slow and sound distorted. Her mouth became dry. Her head felt light. Her legs shook and crumpled beneath her. And then she hit the floor with a loud thud and everything fell black and silent.

-----

Groggily, she opened her eyes, and found to her bewilderment, she had no idea where she was. All she could see was a darkened room with concrete walls and floor. She tried to turn her head, but found she was unable to move. Her head and both wrists were clamped firmly in place between two thick slats of wood. She tried to kick her legs, but they too were restrained - thick swatches of duct tape bound both her legs to the chair she was sitting in. As a last resort, she opened her mouth to cry for help, but her voice was muffled by another piece of duct tape pressed firmly over her lips.

Her head felt like it had been filled with cotton wool. There was a loud buzzing sound in her ears. She couldn't remember a thing. 

After waiting for what seemed like hours, she heard a sound from behind her - the ominous creaking of a door being slowly opened. This was followed by steady thudding of a pair of heavy boots walking towards her. She gasped in terror, feeling a cold sweat trickling down her spine, a lump catching in her throat. She squeezed her eyes shut, a few tears seeping through her closed lids as she trembled in fear.

Then came the voice.
“Hello Charm.”

She knew that voice. Instantly she opened her eyes, her tears suddenly being dried with a mix of relief and anger. Glinting green eyes, set in a face of thick black fur. Pointed ears, long whiskers and glittering fangs. Cat Chaos.

He took hold of the corner of the duct tape covering her mouth and yanked. She let out an involuntary shriek as it ripped off her top layer of skin.
“Cat Chaos! What the hell is this?!” she hissed, glaring straight into his mischievous eyes.

“You found the golden ticket Charm, I'm here to give you your prize, of course!” he said, flashing a toothy grin.

“I don't want a prize,” Charm mumbled, trying in vain to free herself from the restraints - which she had just realised was a set of medieval pillory stocks. “I want to go home. Let me go, or I'll… I'll scream!”

Cat Chaos tutted. “Oh Charm, why don't you trust me?”

“You rigged those tickets!” Charm cried, jerking her legs back and forth, attempting to break the tape that bound her legs. “Let me go! Let me go!”

“Oh Charm, you cut me so,” said Cat Chaos, clutching his chest as if she'd just stabbed him with an icicle. “Anyway, it's Halloween! ...what's your costume supposed to be, anyway?”

Charm frowned at him. She was wearing a ridiculous pink dress made of satin frills and white lace. On her head was balanced a silver tiara. “I'm a princess!”

“Of course you are,” Cat Chaos smiled. “And such a pretty… clean… dress. Now… trick or treat?”

As he said this, he reached out a paw and flicked on the lights. The darkened room was immediately illuminated - and to Charm’s horror, standing behind him was a long table, covered with a tablecloth.

This table was groaning under the weight of dozens of buckets, multicoloured gunge dripping down their sides, bowls and containers of messy, sloppy and sticky foodstuffs and endless rows of pies, their foil cases overflowing oozy cream.

-----

Charm gulped, looking up at Cat Chaos, who was towering over her, an impressively large cream pie balanced on the palm of each paw.

“Please…” she begged, “Please don't… I'll… I'll do anything…”

Charm’s pleas were all in vain. Cat Chaos drew back his arm and thrust a pie right into her face. She flinched, crying out in despair as she was completely splattered from forehead to chin with globs of thick cream and streaks of custard.

The second pie was brought down hard onto the top of her head, so she was wearing the tin like a hat. Slabs of pastry crumbled and fell down her shoulders, rivulets of fruit and syrup oozed down the sides of her head and dripped from the end of her nose.

“Urgh!” she exclaimed, shaking her head side to side to rid herself of the tin hat. “Stop it! Stop it! I hate this! It's not fair, it's not-”

Her words were quickly silenced by a torrent of cold custard cascading over her. Her wailing mouth was rapidly filled to the brim so she gurgled furiously in protest. Cat Chaos roared with laughter, holding the now-empty bucket. Through the gloopy yellow mess, Charm was glaring daggers at him.

“Damn it!” she cried, “Let me go! Please! Somebody help!”

Cat Chaos tutted again, shaking his head pityingly. “Oh Charm, nobody is going to come… You and I are going to have so much fun. You wouldn't play nice games with Sam and his friends, so you're going to play with me instead.”

Charm wailed and whimpered as Cat Chaos proceeded to pour out a whole gallon of syrup over her head - sticky rivers slopping all over her hair, dripping slowly from the ends of her bunches.

“Ew…” Charm moaned, feeling uncomfortably sticky and moist around her neck and chest as the syrup began to ooze down into her dress.

Next, Cat Chaos produced an overflowing bucket of cold baked beans. Charm winced and squeezed her eyes tightly shut, expecting to get drenched in tomato slop - but he had other plans. He slunk around behind her and whipped up her dress, revealing a pair of ludicrous, billowing pink satin bloomers. 

Charm shrieked indignantly. “Hey! Get your filthy paws-”

“Off your silky drawers?” Cat Chaos cackled, yanking her waistband back and dumping the whole bucket down her underpants.

Charm screamed, cold beans squelching between her butt cheeks, trickling down her thighs and squirming their way into even more delicate areas.

“Ew, ew, ew!” she whimpered, wriggling uncomfortably, her face screwed up in disgust. “Get them out! Get them out!”

Cat Chaos let go of her waistband, letting it go with a loud snap, before returning to the long table.

Charm tried pleading with him again, “Oh please!” she begged, her voice high and whiny, “Let me go… I'll do *anything!*”

Cat Chaos laughed, delivering another messy pie straight into her face. This one was blueberry, and her face was now dripping huge slabs of soggy pastry and gooey purple jam.

He held up another bucket, level with his chest, so it's trajectory was a few inches above Charm’s head.
“Look up.” he ordered.

Charm shook her head, deliberately lowering her head so she looked at the floor.

“Look up.” he repeated.

“No!” Charm yelled, gritting her teeth together. “I'm not doing anything you say!”

Cat Chaos put the bucket down and walked ominously back to behind Charm. He took ahold of her soggy waistband and gave it a hard tug - yanking her underwear right up to her mid back. Charm squealed, a mixture of pain at the eye-watering wedgie and disgust at the beans squishing and squelching further into unmentionable places.

“Are you going to do as you're told?” he asked, sniggering.

“...Yes!” Charm wailed, trying to wriggle free. “I'll do it, just stop! Please…!”

“That's a good girl,” said Cat Chaos, retrieving his bucket. “Now, look up.”

Charm whimpered, trembling as she slowly and nervously raised her head, her eyes squeezed tightly shut as she bit hard on her lip.

Cat Chaos laughed heartily as he slowly tilted his bucket - allowing thick slops of cold, lumpy gunge to fall and splat hard against her terrified face at point-blank range. Charm flinched and groaned as each glob splattered against her - her whole face quickly buried under an opaque mask of viscous goop. 

“You know,” Cat Chaos mused, as he put the bucket down and reached for another, “Red is really your colour.”

Charm replied with a vague growl from the back of her throat, which sounded like bad swear words mixed with saliva.

“Pretty girls like you shouldn't use words like that.” Cat Chaos tutted, lifting the next bucket high above her head before flipping it over and pushing it down over her head like he was making a sandcastle.

Charm moaned in despair as she was doused in a disgusting mixture of curry sauce and tinned sardines. From underneath the bucket, she began to retch and gag at the appalling smell.

“Phew, what crawled in there and died?” Cat Chaos laughed - lifting off the bucket with a flourish.

“Oh God, oh God, I'm gonna puke…” Charm mumbled, her face turning a light shade of green under all the mess. 

Cat Chaos was unperturbed by this confession, and returned to the table to grab more ammunition.

“Sorry Charm, you can't be excused from this class…” he smiled, peeling away the sticky collar of her dress and pouring a large barrel of half-melted ice cream down her back. 

The sudden temperature change seemed to make Charm forget her nausea and she let out an ear-piercing shriek of shock. She gasped and panted, her teeth chattering, her knees knocking together.

“Cold...cold...cold...cold…” she whimpered, wriggling and squirming uncomfortably in her messy seat. “Oh FUCK, it's freezing!”

Cat Chaos pretended to be shocked and gasped. “Bad language is not acceptable!”

As penance, he delivered a wonderfully creamy pie sandwich - a pie in each hand smashed against the sides of Charm’s head. She was instantly deafened as her ears were filled with cream and crust and the tinnitus caused by the sheer force. She groaned loudly in protest, pastry falling from her scalp like dandruff, apple and strawberry jam sliding slowly down her cheeks and dripping to the floor.

Cat Chaos smiled, standing back to admire his handiwork. By this point, his victim was completely unrecognisable - her appearance was absolutely ruined. Her hair, once a shade of medium blonde and tied in ridiculous bunches was now coated in a thick layer of slop - cream, gunge and sticky syrup. There was even the slimy tail of a tinned sardine stuck in her fringe. 

The pale pink dress was now saturated in tomato sauce, ice cream and custard - in addition to splatters of various pie fillings and shreds of crust.

All that could be seen of her facial structure underneath the mountain of goop and slime was the outline of her glasses, which had somehow managed to stay on her face this whole time. She was breathing heavily through her mouth - her nose was completely clogged with cream and curry sauce - and trying in vain to not taste any of the mess she was coated with.

-----

“I've got one more prize for you Charm,” Cat Chaos said, bending forward and gently wiping the debris away from her eyes so that she could see what he was gesturing at.

To her horror, all of the children from the Halloween party earlier were stood behind him. Children who she'd bullied, pulled their hair, stolen their candy, given them wedgies and mocked their costumes. They were all pointing and laughing at her.

Charm hung her head in shame; not bearing to look at any of them. She felt her cheeks burning scarlet, her stomach clenching, her eyes watering. Her bottom lip was quivering. She tingled all over with embarrassment.

“Revenge is a dish best served cold… and sticky, gloopy, messy and creamy.” said Cat Chaos, folding his arms. “Now, do you have something to say to Sam and all his little friends?”

Charm sighed, looking up at the group of children. “Uh… I'm… I'm sorry,” she mumbled, “Sorry I was a big jerk…”

The children cheered, some even clapped. Cat Chaos’ usual evil smile softened as he began to free Charm from the restraints.

“Now, your highness… go and get cleaned up.” he said, gesturing to a door on the right, an inviting shower room calling to her. 

The Sliming Of Isaac Challenge - Rules

Hello; I am Cat Chaos - master of ridiculous challenges. This year, I’ve come up with some serious gaming tasks for our good friend Mog Anarchy. Today, I’m going to explain to you, the rules of my first new challenge: The Sliming Of Isaac.

What is The Sliming of Isaac?

Mog is playing The Binding of Isaac Afterbirth. Mog must play as Isaac on hard mode and make it to The Chest. If Boss Rush, Hush or Mega Satan are available, she must fight them. Mog must explore every unlocked non-special room before attempting the next floor. Mog is not allowed to purchase items from the devil room, but angel room items are fine.

Every time Mog takes damage, I shall keep a note of it on this on-screen tally. Every hit of damage taken will add 500ml of gunge to the accumulated total that Mog will have dumped over her at the end of each level.

What counts as taking damage? Anything that causes Isaac to cry out in pain - with the exception of health down pills. Sacrifice rooms, blood donation machines, cursed rooms and self-inflicted damage all count, however.

Let's begin!