I am Mog Anarchy, and I like to play games. Whether they are old, new, retro, modern, online, offline, console, computer, critically acclaimed or notoriously bad. Here on my blog, I rant about, review, trash talk, praise and generally talk about all of my favourite and least-favourite games. I also write my own guides on how to accomplish tricky tasks, show off my creative endeavors and challenge myself with crazy in-game tasks. I also have a bunch of gaming merchandise which I am glad to show off. So drop me a comment, I love hearing your questions, criticisms, comments and general gaming discussions. :)

23/05/2018

Kindergarten Guide - Monstermon Cards

There are a total of 25 Monstermon Cards to collect throughout Kindergarten. These are stored in your bedroom at home and thus carry on between each play-through. It is required to collect all 25 to unlock the special ending and the corresponding "World Ender" Steam achievement. The majority of these cards can be collected whilst following characters' storylines but remember that taking a card will usually result in using up one of your apples. As long as you can finish the school day alive, you will get to keep any cards you have collected.

(Click on the screenshots to enlarge them!)

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Blue Eyes Gold Dragon
  • You will receive this card as a reward for completing Lily's storyline.

Cactus Outlaw
  • In the playground before morning time, buy the pack of cigarettes from Monty ($1.00) and give them to Buggs.

Cyclops Duckling
  • During recess, solve Jerome's riddle of the springy ducks. The correct order is yellow, yellow, blue, blue, red, yellow, blue. The card will appear once you've entered the correct solution.

Doom Jelly
  • Don't speak to Cindy until lunch time - she will ask you to put gum in Lily's hair... again. Either bribe the Lunch Lady with $2.00, give her the magnifying glass or Monty's glasses so she allows you out into the hall. Stick the gum in Lily's hair and return to Cindy before the bell rings to receive this card as a reward.

Evil Thwarter
  • During Cindy's storyline, she will ask you for some "vegan" food. Talk to the Janitor about his "biscut balls," and he may give you one for free if you choose the right dialogue options - otherwise buy one for $1.00. Give it to Cindy and report back to the Janitor. He will give you the card.

Eye Of The Buttholder
  • During morning time, ask to use the bathroom. Two of the stalls are locked and the third one is dirty - interact with them all then tell the Janitor to clean up the mess. He will move away from the bloody boxes - inspect the middle one to find the card.

Faptain Calcon
  • Use the lunch pass to have lunch with Ms. Applegate. She will buy you a Silly Meal and there is a Monstermon card inside it.

Freezeguy Jim
  • First, you must distract Ms. Applegate during morning time with the single pill you get from Nugget or the big bottle of pills you get from the Principal. While she's too high to care what you're doing, steal the card from the cubby on the far right. This can also be done during Jerome's storyline while he is distracting her.

Giraffe Serpent
  • First, speak to Nugget about Billy, then about his pills until he offers you one. Then follow Cindy's storyline by putting gum in Lily's hair and then agreeing to play house with her. During the dialogue choices she will mention that she is pregnant - encourage her to abort the baby and give her the pill Nugget gave you. She will give you a Monstermon card in exchange.

Holy Knight
  • Monty sells this card during recess for $12.50. In order to raise the money, you can sell rare items such as Jerome's hall pass, the chocolate, the bottle of pills, the doughnut, the flask or the breathalyzer. You can also steal money from Monty's cubby and from the Janitor's closet.

King Tower Beetle
  • First, you must distract Ms. Applegate during morning time with the single pill you get from Nugget or the big bottle of pills you get from the Principal. This can also be done during Jerome's storyline while he is distracting her. Steal the magnifying glass from Lily's cubby and give it to Nugget. He will reward you with the card.

Literally Grass
  • This card is the easiest to obtain - simply interact with the exclamation prompt that appears behind the jungle gym during recess.

Man With Long Arm
  • During Jerome's storyline, instead of going into the Janitor's closet, go into the bathroom and speak to him. Keep asking him about the bloody bags until the option to question the rules comes up - he will then offer for the Lunch Lady to sell you chocolate for a nickel. Refuse and threaten him - then admit to him that you only wanted Jerome's hall pass. He will laugh and give you the card.

Magical Airship
  • During lunch, buy the Silly Meal from Monty for $2.50. Don't eat it, keep hold of it and show it during Show & Tell - Ms. Applegate will then give you the card that was in the box.

Martian Orbman
  • Quite possibly one of the hardest Monstermon cards to acquire, you must follow Ms. Applegate's storyline but deviate from it part-way through. Here's a quick outline of what you need to do:
    • Go to school with $8.00
    • Let Buggs take your money
    • Tell on Buggs to Ms. Applegate, let him beat you up then call for her
    • Buy the voice recorder from Monty ($2.50)
    • Provoke Cindy until she cries rape
    • Use the voice recorder to clear your name
    • Talk to Ms. Applegate then talk to Jerome - he will say you're not cool enough
    • Ms. Applegate will then give you permission to steal an item from the cubbies
    • Steal the KNIFE from Buggs' cubby
    • Buy the yo-yo from Monty ($1.00)
    • Give the yo-yo to Jerome and get the hall pass from him
    • Show it to Ms. Applegate while he is distracting her
    • Befriend Nugget by eating his poisoned chicken nugget
    • Talk to Nugget at lunch, he will tell you to poison Buggs
  • Now THIS is where we deviate from the story - remember the knife we stole? Instead of poisoning Buggs, we're going to stab him instead. He will run out of the cafeteria, spurting blood everywhere. Bribe the Lunch Lady or give her Monty's glasses so she will let you out. You'll find Buggs outside in the hall, he seems to have died in the process of looking under a floor tile. Interact with the tile and you will find the Monstermon card. Finally!

Oglebop Golem
  • This card is hidden underneath the table that Nugget is sitting at during lunch. Just interact with the exclamation mark prompt when it appears.

Oh Faka Tornado
  • Follow Cindy's storyline until you are sent to the Janitor's closet. Instead of retrieving the bucket of blood, take the note from the box on the left shelf. Talk to Monty to decipher it and tell Cindy the grisly truth about what happened to her dog, Biscuit. She will get her revenge on the Janitor and reward you with a card.

Really Bright Star
  • Follow Cindy's storyline until you are tasked with dumping the bucket of blood over Lily. Dump it over Cindy instead and she'll run out into the traffic in a daze - Ms. Applegate will reward you for getting rid of her with this card.

Shroom Turtle
  • Follow Cindy's storyline by putting gum in Lily's hair and then agreeing to play house with her. During the dialogue choices, deny that you have been drinking and she will give you a breathlyser. Give this to Buggs during recess and he will give you a Monstermon card.

Sneaky Snake
  • This card is hidden inside the box on the left in the Janitor's closest and can be retrieved during either Cindy's storyline or Jerome's storyline when you sneak into his closet.

Spikey Flimflam
  • In the playground before morning time, talk to Nugget about Billy and get sent to the Principal's office. Tell him you're not upset about Billy, that you used to be friends and you had a falling out over Monstermon cards. He will give you this one.

Tornado Fly
  • First thing in the playground, buy the screwdriver from Monty ($1.00.) Either during Jerome's storylineCindy's storyline or during lunch in general - go out into the hall and use the screwdriver on the vent in the wall to retrieve this card.

Uneaten Cake
  • At lunch, get some slop from the Lunch Lady and throw it in the garbage. Get a second helping and throw that in the garbage too. After you ask for your third helping, she will reward you with this card.

Wizard Worm

Wolf Of Castle
  • In the playground before morning time, talk to Nugget about Billy and get sent to the Principal's office. After he has finished talking to you, look in the trash can to find this card.

18/05/2018

Review: Viscera Cleanup Detail

Viscera Cleanup Detail is a 2015 first-person janitorial simulation game released on Steam. You assume the role of a janitor who works for the company Aerospace Sanitation Inc. - a company that specialises in cleaning up the gory remains of homicide, suicide, alien invasions, bloody rituals, mutations etc - and as you learn by reading clues sprinkled throughout the game, has a tendency to cover up the truth using somewhat underhanded methods.

You control the janitor from a first person perspective and have a wide array of tools at your disposal for cleaning up an area. Your main tool is your mop - which is used to clean up blood, soot, dirt etc. Your mop must be cleaned regularly or you'll end up making more mess. You also have a broom for sweeping up bullets and trash, biohazard bins for collecting body parts, buckets for rinsing your mop, a laser welder for sealing up bullet holes and a huge incinerator for destroying all waste items.

The objectives for cleaning an area will vary by location but all require that you dispose of any dead human and alien bodies and remains, incinerate trash and waste items, mop up any blood or liquid spills and repair any broken items. Some levels require you to scrub graffiti from walls, reload gun turrets, tidy up parcels or barrels into a designated area and planting new seeds to replace dead plants.

Viscera Cleanup Detail can be played alone, split-screen co-op with up to 4 players or can be played online with up to 24 people to a server. Larger levels are easier when tackled with a partner or group, as each person can assume a different role or tackle a specific area. The levels range in size and length from anything to around 45 minutes all the way up to 3-4 hours. Obviously larger levels can be saved and returned to at a later time and the game will periodically autosave to ensure you don't lose any progress.

The levels are themed around science fiction and horror games and movies - namely games series like Dead Space - where a futuristic setting would be ruined by all the potential death, blood and gore. Other levels feature obvious references to classic horror films, such as Overgrowth referencing Predator and Frostbite referencing The Thing. All of the employees found in the levels will have been killed in some horrific manner, such as being skewered, decapitated, eviscerated, skinned, burned or liquidised and it is up to you to clean up the mess left behind.

As boring as a cleaning simulation game may sound, Viscera Cleanup Detail is actually very addictive. It's perfect for people like me who are completionists and perfectionists - as reading your results and learning you didn't miss a single thing is immensely satisfying. It's fun to play co-op, far more fun than working together on housework as you can balance your different skills and playing styles to improve your overall efficiency and beat your previous times and scores over and over again. And for the real obsessives, each level features a bunch of paperwork where you can use a mixture of investigation and educated guesswork to determine what happened in that level and how each employee died in order to earn bonus points.

And for players who enjoy exploration and uncovering mysteries, a lot of levels feature secret areas and unique items (most of which are references to other games and movies) that can be collected as trophies. Also hidden in levels are literal Easter Eggs and notes from a fellow janitor Bob who went rogue. Tracking Bob down using the clues found in his letters also awards you a bunch of unique items and unlocks a large secret area to explore. 

Trophies and items you want to keep can be transferred to your own personal office - a player home like area you can decorate using physics control. You could hoard weaponry, unique items or if you're a total psychopath like Bob, severed heads and limbs. Your office comes decked out with 4 rooms and several large shelves you can fill up with your level spoils.

As the game is rather large and frequently features a large amount of objects on-screen, glitches are prone to happening frequently, usually involving physics or items becoming stuck in the walls - though to me, these are more funny than annoying. To make up for its faults, the game does not penalise you if you need to use console commands to work around a glitch.

Viscera Cleanup Detail has 3 DLC packs, each of which can be played as part of the main game or as standalone games. House of Horror is Halloween themed and is essentially a gigantic mashup of 1980s slasher movies. Santa’s Rampage deals with the aftermath of good ol St Nick going on a murderous rampage in his workshop and Shadow Warrior is based around the ninja game of the same name, cleaning up a pagoda full of dead Yakuza.

It's a fun little game and surprisingly cheap - when I first picked it up, I certainly didn't think I'd be sinking over 200 hours into it - nor did I know it would become a major staple of my co-op gaming sessions with Shelly and Ash. And I haven't even tried any user submitted stages from the Steam Workshop yet! I'm going to be mopping up blood for a long while to come...

11/05/2018

My Top 5 Best Crash Team Racing Tracks

Ah, is there such a thing as too much Crash Bandicoot? I don't think there is. With the N Sane Trilogy coming to Steam this year, meaning I can FINALLY play the damn thing - there’s never been a better time for a nostalgia trip and revisiting classic PS1 era Crash after all, Crash Team Racing hasn’t been remastered… yet. I’ve already made a list of my most hated tracks, so today we’re doing the opposite. This is my top 5 personal favourite tracks from Crash Team Racing.

 5 - Coco Park
First on the list we’ve got Coco Park, which at first glance may seem like a generic or boring track from any old racing game - but Coco Park to me has the same appeal as Baby Park from Mario Kart. As it’s simplistic with large turns and wide roads, you’re welcome to experiment with lots of slides and turbos in order to build up maximum speed. It’s also a perfect track for practicing your aim with projectile weapons. Sometimes there’s nothing inherently bad about simplicity - and over complicating a track is worse, in my opinion. The music is also oddly addicting - very poppy and bouncy sounding and it suits Coco Bandicoot perfectly.

4 - Sewer Speedway
Next we have Sewer Speedway - a track that is clearly inspired by my favourite type of levels from Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back, the sewer levels! With alternate routes, secret passages, crazy jumps and endless opportunity for sneaky overtaking or the downright evil yet hilarious tactic of placing explosives on track racers can’t avoid - Sewer Speedway is an awesome track to play with friends and CPUs alike. Also, managing to pull off a platinum relic using advanced driver Tiny Tiger is one of my prouder achievements in gaming - managing that near impossible slide, turbo, jump combo to reach the secret passageway that runs across the top of the level - amazing.

3 - N. Gin Labs
At number 3 we’ve got N. Gin Labs - one of the harder tracks in the game but also one of the more unique and frankly crazy. Let’s see - we’ve got turbo pads, huge ramp jumps, gigantic toxic waste barrels, 90 degree sharp turns and the amazing turbo tunnel that allows you to reach your maximum speed instantly as you race down it. A mix of careful navigating and reckless abandon to take risks is required if you ever hope to beat the platinum time trials on this track, or beat the hard CPU racers in arcade mode. Not only is the track fun to play against friends or CPU racers, it just fits N. Gin’s personality so well - with elements of science, industry and insanity. After Tiny Tiger, N. Gin is my favourite Crash Bandicoot villain - I’m a big fan of mad scientist types.

2 - Tiger Temple
Our runner up on this list goes to Tiger Temple - a track belonging to Pura the tiger and also bearing an uncanny resemblance to original Crash Bandicoot levels like Temple Ruins and Sunset Vista. The track is a mix of extra wide paths that allow for lots of jump boosts, sliding and launching from ramps and super narrow passageways that are full of fire-breathing gargoyles. However, the best thing about this track is the not-so-secret passageway. While not a secret to long time veterans, anybody new to the game wouldn’t spot it straightaway. To access this shortcut you must shoot this carving in the teeth with a projectile weapon like a bowling bomb or a potion thrown forward. He’ll part his teeth and you can squeak though, shaving off valuable seconds and crashing down on top of the clueless racers taking the long way round.

1 - Oxide Station
And my number 1, my personal favourite track in Crash Team Racing is Oxide Station. Though presented as one of the harder tracks in the game and the stage for the final race against Oxide himself, this track manages to balance complexity and hilarity with its frankly ridiculous amount of turbo pads, huge jumps and scrambled up box placements, often mixing fruit crates and item crates in together in one area. What’s not to like about a track where you’re hitting your top speed limit for half of the course and literally holding onto your car for dear life as you hurtle through literal space for the other half? Of course, the boss race against Oxide himself may sully your opinion on this track as he’s a cheating arsehole who begins the race before the flag is waved and hurls a near infinite amount of crap at you, beating his slimy alien arse and sending him packing is so damn satisfying.

 

02/05/2018

Frank's Adventure 3 - Fishing Guide

There are a total of six fish you can catch during Frank's Adventure 3 - these can be sold for coins or turned into meals to restore Frank's HP. Certain fish are also required to complete certain quests.

Southern Gola
- It can be caught using the Old Salt Bait.
- It can be sold for 60 coins.
- The meal can restore 2HP to Frank.


Red Squirrel
- It can be caught using the Old Salt Bait.
- It can be sold for 150 coins.
- The meal can restore 3HP to Frank.


Green Parrot
- It can be caught using the Small Dick Bait.
- It can be sold for 240 coins.
- The meal can restore 5HP to Frank.


Fairy Basslet
- It can be caught using the Small Dick Bait, Long Dick Bait and Strong Mosquito Bait.
- It can be sold for 320 coins.
- The meal can restore 6HP to Frank.


Blue Parrot
- It can be caught using the Long Dick Bait and Strong Mosquito Bait.
- It can be sold for 750 coins.
- The meal can restore 8HP to Frank.


Bluestriped Grunt
- It can be caught using the Strong Mosquito Bait.
- It can be sold for 2250 coins.
- The meal can restore 10HP to Frank.


The Fishing Supplies store sells fishing rods and various baits. In order to purchase the fishing rod and all four baits, you will need a total of 2500 coins.

Kirby's Diner can purchase fish for use as ingredients for coins or can turn raw fish into meals that can be used to restore Frank's HP.


As I clearly had nothing better to do - I have produced this comprehensive guide to every single screen on SexyIsland where Frank can catch fish. Simply click on the screenshots to enlarge them.

The Southern Gola can be caught on these screens:

The Red Squirrel can be caught on these screens:

The Green Parrot can be caught on these screens:

The Fairy Basslet can be caught on these screens:

The Blue Parrot can be caught on these screens:

The Bluestriped Grunt can be caught on these screens: