I am Mog Anarchy, and I like to play games. Whether they are old, new, retro, modern, online, offline, console, computer, critically acclaimed or notoriously bad. Here on my blog, I rant about, review, trash talk, praise and generally talk about all of my favourite and least-favourite games. I also write my own guides on how to accomplish tricky tasks, show off my creative endeavors and challenge myself with crazy in-game tasks. I also have a bunch of gaming merchandise which I am glad to show off. So drop me a comment, I love hearing your questions, criticisms, comments and general gaming discussions. :)
Showing posts with label Countdown Video. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Countdown Video. Show all posts

14/09/2018

Dead Rising 2: Off The Record - Best Combo Weapons

Combo weapons were introduced to the Dead Rising series in Dead Rising 2 and have since become a staple gameplay element to the series. Being able to combine two ordinary items to create frankly nonsensical, overpowered or impractical methods of zombie massacring added to the overall silly and madcap theme Capcom began steering the series towards. In addition to providing you with tons of fun new ways to drench Fortune City in blood, combo cards were also introduced - adding a new collection element to the game and encouraging the more RPG elements in order to increase the damage and durability of these weapons as well as encouraging players to complete side quests and explore new areas. 

There are 50 combo weapons in total included with Dead Rising 2: Off The Record (which is incidentally my favourite Dead Rising title in the series) and not all of them are created equally. This is a top 10 countdown of my personal favourites, so grab your duct tape and let's begin.

10 - Fire Spitter
At number 10 is the Fire Spitter - literally a children’s toy that has been altered to fire out flaming ping pong balls. One of few ranged weapons that is actually decent against large hordes of zombies - as the balls will bounce from head to head, spreading the flames as it goes. It’s also a very useful weapon when going for some of the gold medal challenges in Sandbox Mode. It’s not brilliant against psychopaths, but for those who don’t like getting up close and personal with melee weapons - it’s not bad.


9 - Paddlesaw
Next we have the Paddlesaw - literally the poster weapon of Dead Rising 2 - it’s two chainsaws taped to each end of a canoe paddle - which you can swing side to side and around and around to cut through the endless hordes in seconds. The screen will be awash with blood in no time at all and all that will be left is a mountain of severed limbs. So why is it so low down on my list? Two reasons really - the first is that both chainsaws and paddles are relatively hard to find, so it’s not an easy weapon to make without planning ahead. And secondly, it’s one of those massive weapons that you can’t store in your inventory bar - try and swap it for something else, you’ll just drop it. Need to refill your health? You’ll have to drop it… Thus it’s not a very good choice for psychopath boss fights as more often than not you’ll be picking it up and putting it down again rather than actually using it...


8 - Weed Tendonizer
At number 8 we have the Weed Tendonizer - unfortunately another massive weapon that cannot be stored in the players inventory. Created by combining a weed whacker with knives, Frank can pull on the cord and aim the rapidly rotating blades at the exposed ankles of any nearby zombies - slashing their arteries and causing them to bleed out on the floor. It has a fairly high durability and thus can be used to take out large groups or safely slice yourself a pathway through the more densely packed areas of Fortune City’s exterior. It's not ideal for use against psychopaths, as it's rather slow - but does come in handy during several of the Sandbox Mode challenges for racking up kills and PP quickly.


7 - Pole Weapon
Next on the list is the Pole Weapon - a pretty run of the mill combo weapon created by taping a machete to a broom. These two items are fairly common, brooms being found in most janitors closets and machetes often being wielded by the looters - the Pole Weapon is an easy to make and easy to use weapon with a very long range - allowing you to attack hordes of zombies or psychopath bosses whilst keeping a comfortable distance from their attacks. I found it rather useful throughout the story playthrough and used it in multiple situations. It was one of a handful of weapons on this list I often kept in my inventory in reserve. At first glance it may seem boring, but it's actually pretty good.


6 - Tenderizers
Next we have the Tenderizers - some pretty brutal and badass gloves you can make using MMA gloves and a box of nails. Frank literally pokes nails through the holes in his leather gloves in order to make extreme brass knuckles! In addition to pulling off some serious MMA-style jabs and punches, pressing button combos can also result in some satisfying kicks to finish off the new pincushion in front of you. Unfortunately they have a relatively short range and aren’t great against large hordes of zombies - but they do fairly well against a single psychopath or smaller groups of the undead. Fairly abundant materials for making them too - MMA gloves are found in sports stores and the gym and you practically trip over boxes of nails everywhere you go.


5 - Holy Arms
At the halfway point is the Holy Arms - literally a toy sword and shield set that has been perforated with dozens of nails - ah, nails - you have so many uses, it seems. Instead of thinking of them as an offensive weapon and a defensive shield, the Holy Arms is actually two offensive weapons with defensive moves available - the shield manages to both block and batter at the same time while Frank waves the spiky sword around like a madman, severely puncturing anything that dares to get in his way. The downside, like many other combo weapons is the lack of training swords one can find in Fortune City - they can more or less only be found in the Atlantica Casino and the Slot Ranch Casino (and a few other awkward places) so if you’re a fan of using them like I am - I recommend stocking up when you next pass through.


4 - Nail Bat
It's hard to beat the classics - the first combo weapon you are introduced to, the Nail Bat is a fairly decent go-go combo throughout the game. The first maintenance room outside of the safe house is always stocked with the means to build one and baseball bats and nails are relatively common commodities. I often kept one in my inventory to fall back on when all of my other weapons had broken. A fairly decent weapon for quickly dispatching zombies and not a terrible choice when dealing with psychopaths either - the nail bat may be cliché but you can't argue with results.


3 - Laser Sword
The laser sword feels odd getting the bronze medal in this list - as when is a blade made of solid light that can cut through flesh like butter a bad choice? Well, it’s not a *bad* choice - quite the opposite, they’re great weapons - fast, high damaging and they come in a variety of colours! The problem with them is that they’re fairly awkward to make - as one of their main components, flashlights are also in close competition for other combo weapons and items such as the Money Hacker. Gems are relatively easy to find in large quantities in jewellery shops - but flashlights can be harder to find, unless you frequently encounter looters. As the laser sword also attacks fast and deals damage fast, it often falls victim to the boss battle nerfing - the more consecutive hits you get in, the less damage you’ll do… It’s still awesome to slice zombies in two though.


2 - Defiler
Coming in 2nd place we have the Defiler - the frankly obscenely overpowered weapon made by duct taping together a sledgehammer and a fire axe - creating a frankly unstoppable powerhouse that can simultaneously bludgeon and slash both zombies and psychopaths. The only downside is that it's quite a slow and bulky weapon and psychopaths with fast attacks and those who dodge a lot can be quite hard to strike consecutively. Plus - sledgehammers and fire axes are fairly uncommon items and are seldom found together. That aside, the sheer satisfaction on Frank’s face as he smashes a group of zombies into oblivion with a 50-pound swing is awesome.


1 - Knife Gloves
And at #1 we have my personal favourite combo weapon, the knife gloves. Now, I've chosen these over the Defiler for three reasons. 1, they are a lot faster - yes the Defiler may do more damage overall but the longer wait time between swings leaves you vulnerable to attack. 2, they're easier to make, as boxing gloves are readily available in sports stores and gyms and knives, cleavers and other pointy objects are found in abundance pretty much everywhere. And 3, they're useful against both the horde and psychopaths - their speed is useful when dispatching groups of zombies or slicing yourself a path through - and you can easily get in several slashes in a row during the boss battles then run away to allow the damage nullifier time to wear off. Plus, what isn't there to love about going slash crazy with a pair of Goddamn boxing gloves with KNIVES sticking out of them? You're like a cross between Little Mac and Wolverine!

20/08/2018

Spyro 3: Year Of The Dragon - Funniest Dialogue

Today I’m going to share with you some of the funniest lines of dialogue from Spyro 3: The Year of the Dragon. Insomniac Games did an amazing job at making the original Spyro PS1 trilogy appeal to both kids and adults - and managed to include some genuinely funny dialogue without adding any adult humour to maintain its 3+ rating. One disclaimer though - this list is dialogue from the main game only - no cutscene dialogue - so unfortunately I shan’t be including this gem:
Why, you brazenly avaricious, duplicitous, larcenous ursine!


Tara
Not only is the character of Tara a full-on homage to Lara Croft - she even makes a mockery of the core gameplay of the original Tomb Raider series - “pressing switches” and “pushing boxes around” is literally all I can remember doing in the first games.


Sheila’s Haiku
The fact that all of the characters in Spooky Swamp speak in haiku is funny to begin with - but when Sheila comes out with this - I admit I LOL’d the first time I heard it. I just wasn’t expecting it!


Prince Azrael
All the way through Charmed Ridge, we’re made to believe that the Amy X Azrael scenario is a kidnapping or forced marriage - as it turns out, they’re in love and they’re eloping. What makes this scene even funnier is that Prince Azrael is a biker punk - check out his skull earring and motorbike!


Blue Hedgehog
Do I really need to explain this one? For some reason, we as gamers love it when references to other games show up, either as easter eggs, dialogue or just blatantly like Moneybags does here. It’s especially heartwarming when it’s not a negative reference to a character or series from a rival company.


Moneybags’ Haiku
The unique quirk of Spooky Swamp is that everybody there speaks in haiku - including the non-native NPCs like Sheila and Moneybags. Unlike Sheila however, Moneybags has a clear dislike of haiku, but ironically expresses this using the medium he claims to hate!


Happy Thoughts
Moneybags is such a sarcastic character in the 3rd iteration of Spyro - in the 2nd title, and his debut - he was more or less just a greedy scrooge-like character who was relatively nonplussed if Spyro were to refuse to pay his fees - as if to say, well it’s no skin off my nose if you can’t finish the game. In Spyro 3 however, he started taking things more personally and sometimes really came out with some zingers.


Hockey Players
Growing up, I used to go to watch a lot of live ice hockey games - so I knew they often got violent. Hearing Nancy say this so nonchalantly in an attempt to make Spyro feel guilty was just hilarious - though as this glorified escort quest was so bloody frustrating, watching her get whacked across the rink with a hockey stick made me LOL every time.


Another Sequel
A fine example of a developer poking fun at themselves here - and also a weird prediction for the future. At this point, Spyro was onto his 3rd main series game and was in development for a future installment, spin-offs and even crossovers with other franchises - a nice bit of foreshadowing and humour mixed together here, Insomniac.


Slick/Frozen Tongue
Hunter is my most-hated character from the Spyro universe - he’s cocky, overconfident and sometimes can be downright incompetent and obtuse for the sake of it - so seeing him get his comeuppance thanks to you failing is simply heart-warming. It’s also a really unique bet that the Yetis came up with - props to their creativity!


Someone So Purple
Not only is this quote borderline racist to purple-skinned beings, it’s also massively hypocritical - it’s being said by a PURPLE seal! Also, how does the colour of one’s skin affect one’s ability to perform tasks? Idiot seal.


Schooled 'Em
Hunter really knows how to embellish and elaborate, doesn’t he? This line is a vast improvement on his previous “dizzy one-toed sand Gnorcs” comment from a previous level. I really liked this quote and did my best to memorise it as a kid, I just thought it was genius.


Marco
In the vast majority of games, we as the protagonist are lead to believe that everything we do is for the greater good - that you couldn’t possibly be trying to reunite an estranged couple, one side of which wants nothing to do with the quest giver - and has even gone as far as to take out a restraining order!


Feel Really Cold
Another great example of programming in lines of dialogue that actually react in real-time to the things Spyro does and the changes that occur in-game. If you follow the clues to reach these gem barrels by freezing this NPC and using him as a step-stool, once he thaws, he expresses himself thusly.


Sorceress’ Butt
Oh dear Zoe. She has a point, The Sorceress is the most evil Spyro villain thus far - Gnasty Gnorc didn’t kill any dragons, he just froze them. Ripto didn’t hurt anybody, he just enslaved them. The Sorceress outright admits to planning to murder not just the dragons, but also the baby hatchlings - so insulting her appearance is sort of justified… Also, PEGI 3+ rating maintained eloquently.


Hip Hip Hooray
The Hummingbirds do their best to maintain a professional attitude to their CO and remain upright and represent the military as best as they can - but this soldier just couldn’t resist breaking the facade to express her joy.


Trampled
I really liked the attention to detail Spyro 3 added - such as characters having unique dialogue if you were to speak to them outside of the expected times - such as when they’re interacting with the world or its creatures. She has a point though - Spyro isn’t doing much to help this situation in reducing the risk she gets trampled by a water buffalo!


Moneybags Retires
One of the absolute best moments in Spyro 3 was when you got revenge on Moneybags and chased him around Midnight Mountain, flaming and charging him to get all of your extorted gems back. Spyro 2 did something similar, but just showed it through a non-interactive cutscene - Spyro 3 did it way better. To further cement his feeling of utter defeat, he resigns to retire to his most-disliked level and write haiku, which he also admitted to hating.


Cat Thing
Sometimes I forget that Hunter is a cheetah and thus is a member of the feline family. I love cats - so hearing cat-related jokes, puns and humour based around their species quirks is great. Hunter even follows through on this confession by never showing up in any underwater sections without first putting on a wetsuit to keep his fur dry!


Password
Another fine example of Moneybags being an absolute savage. I don’t even think this door even had a password, I think he was just acting as a greedy gatekeeper then rubbing your nose in it when you had no option but to cough up to get past him...


Kitchen Duty
Yep, clearly the seals found Bluto the Rhynoc as difficult as I did when I was a kid. I suffered numerous deaths at the hands of this cheating scumbag with his souped-up overpowered nuclear shark submarine. Yet when I did finally manage to destroy it using my naff little speedboat - oh, felt so good.

11/05/2018

My Top 5 Best Crash Team Racing Tracks

Ah, is there such a thing as too much Crash Bandicoot? I don't think there is. With the N Sane Trilogy coming to Steam this year, meaning I can FINALLY play the damn thing - there’s never been a better time for a nostalgia trip and revisiting classic PS1 era Crash after all, Crash Team Racing hasn’t been remastered… yet. I’ve already made a list of my most hated tracks, so today we’re doing the opposite. This is my top 5 personal favourite tracks from Crash Team Racing.

 5 - Coco Park
First on the list we’ve got Coco Park, which at first glance may seem like a generic or boring track from any old racing game - but Coco Park to me has the same appeal as Baby Park from Mario Kart. As it’s simplistic with large turns and wide roads, you’re welcome to experiment with lots of slides and turbos in order to build up maximum speed. It’s also a perfect track for practicing your aim with projectile weapons. Sometimes there’s nothing inherently bad about simplicity - and over complicating a track is worse, in my opinion. The music is also oddly addicting - very poppy and bouncy sounding and it suits Coco Bandicoot perfectly.

4 - Sewer Speedway
Next we have Sewer Speedway - a track that is clearly inspired by my favourite type of levels from Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back, the sewer levels! With alternate routes, secret passages, crazy jumps and endless opportunity for sneaky overtaking or the downright evil yet hilarious tactic of placing explosives on track racers can’t avoid - Sewer Speedway is an awesome track to play with friends and CPUs alike. Also, managing to pull off a platinum relic using advanced driver Tiny Tiger is one of my prouder achievements in gaming - managing that near impossible slide, turbo, jump combo to reach the secret passageway that runs across the top of the level - amazing.

3 - N. Gin Labs
At number 3 we’ve got N. Gin Labs - one of the harder tracks in the game but also one of the more unique and frankly crazy. Let’s see - we’ve got turbo pads, huge ramp jumps, gigantic toxic waste barrels, 90 degree sharp turns and the amazing turbo tunnel that allows you to reach your maximum speed instantly as you race down it. A mix of careful navigating and reckless abandon to take risks is required if you ever hope to beat the platinum time trials on this track, or beat the hard CPU racers in arcade mode. Not only is the track fun to play against friends or CPU racers, it just fits N. Gin’s personality so well - with elements of science, industry and insanity. After Tiny Tiger, N. Gin is my favourite Crash Bandicoot villain - I’m a big fan of mad scientist types.

2 - Tiger Temple
Our runner up on this list goes to Tiger Temple - a track belonging to Pura the tiger and also bearing an uncanny resemblance to original Crash Bandicoot levels like Temple Ruins and Sunset Vista. The track is a mix of extra wide paths that allow for lots of jump boosts, sliding and launching from ramps and super narrow passageways that are full of fire-breathing gargoyles. However, the best thing about this track is the not-so-secret passageway. While not a secret to long time veterans, anybody new to the game wouldn’t spot it straightaway. To access this shortcut you must shoot this carving in the teeth with a projectile weapon like a bowling bomb or a potion thrown forward. He’ll part his teeth and you can squeak though, shaving off valuable seconds and crashing down on top of the clueless racers taking the long way round.

1 - Oxide Station
And my number 1, my personal favourite track in Crash Team Racing is Oxide Station. Though presented as one of the harder tracks in the game and the stage for the final race against Oxide himself, this track manages to balance complexity and hilarity with its frankly ridiculous amount of turbo pads, huge jumps and scrambled up box placements, often mixing fruit crates and item crates in together in one area. What’s not to like about a track where you’re hitting your top speed limit for half of the course and literally holding onto your car for dear life as you hurtle through literal space for the other half? Of course, the boss race against Oxide himself may sully your opinion on this track as he’s a cheating arsehole who begins the race before the flag is waved and hurls a near infinite amount of crap at you, beating his slimy alien arse and sending him packing is so damn satisfying.

 

07/04/2018

Spyro 2: Gateway To Glimmer - My Top 5 WORST Orb Quests

Ah, Spyro The Dragon. One of few 3D PS1 platforming mascots we all remember fondly, along with Crash Bandicoot, Croc and Rayman. The Spyro series is one of my favourite series from my childhood and each of the three titles from the original trilogy is one of the first games I can remember completing to 100%. (Or 120% or 117% if you're going to be pedantic.) Beautiful environments, catchy soundtracks and memorable characters make the PS1 Spyro series one to truly cherish and remember. However - not all moments are remembered as fondly as others. I already made a list of my favourite orb quests from Spyro 2; now we're doing the opposite. This is my Top (or in this case, bottom) 5 Worst Orbs Quests from Spyro 2: Gateway To Glimmer.

5 - Breeze Harbour; Gear Grab
First on our list is the Gear Grab quest from Breeze Harbour. Riding on top of an incredibly precarious “trolley” that makes infuriatingly annoying squeaking noises every time you jump, you must navigate around a track that’s littered with explosives, boxes and big gaps that you have to jump across. Even more confusing is the fact you have to shoot targets to change the track’s direction and it’s very easy to miss a gear and have to ride around in circles until you find it.

4 - Magma Cone; Crystal Geysers I & II
Next are Hunter’s Crystal Geyser quests from Magma Cone. I’m sure I’m not the only person who cannot abide Hunter as a character, the arrogant prick - so having him host annoyingly frustrating orb challenges does nothing to alleviate the flack he gets. Very similar to the Mr Vile the crocodile mini-game in Banjo-Kazooie, you must race against Hunter to see who can collect the most pieces of crystal from the geyser. The problem is of course, Hunter is a CPU and his AI is very good - he seldom misses and if you’re unaware (as I was as a kid) that you can charge in front of him and steal the piece he’s literally about to grab, you’ll be restarting this quest again and again.

3 - Metro Speedway; Grab The Loot
At number 3 we have the cat burglars quest from Metro Speedway. This speedway in itself is my least favourite of the lot and this bonus orb quest does nothing to help that. A bunch of burglars have stolen all of the city’s gems and are now clinging to the sides of buildings… you know, instead of escaping back to their hideout with the gems… Anyway, Hunter accompanies you and shoots the burglars with a laser gun, causing them to drop their bags of loot. Your job is to catch them before they fall into the canal. This is harder than it seems - as many of the burglars practically have their toes dangling in the water and it’s incredibly easy to misjudge the distance and take a dive yourself - instantly causing you to fail and having to restart over and over and over again.

2 - Cloud Temples; Agent Zero’s Secret Hideout
You know what 3D platformers of the 90s and today are lacking? Mandatory stealth sections. Wait, NO THEY'RE NOT! Stealth and platforming are two genres that don't mix and should never be combined - and yet here we are - the Secret Hideout quest from Cloud Temples does just that. Firstly, Agent Zero is a tosser. He has a face you just want to punch. Repeatedly. Everything about him, from his design, to his stupid voice to his animation just rubs me the wrong way - and this isn't helped by how frustrating his stupid orb quest is. Agent Zero is going to his secret hideout and refuses to move until Spyro hides behind a tree. Once he's satisfied, he lumbers off - and we must follow behind him whilst making sure we don't fall off the cliffs or get spotted. What makes this harder are very loose definitions of what are and what aren't hiding places, Agent Zero’s tendency to spin around in a paranoid manner and doors that are apparently on some sort of timer that will slam in your purple dragon face if you don't pass through them quick enough.

1 - Fracture Hills; Escort The Alchemist
And at number 1 on this list, we have one of the most annoying and frustrating orb quests - one that made me scream as a child and still makes me throw controllers as an adult - the Escort The Alchemist quest from Fracture Hills. The operative word here is ESCORT. Nobody likes escort quests! It is pretty much video game law that 99% of the time, the thick sod you're escorting will be defenseless, carrying something valuable or be prone to dying easily. The Alchemist is a bumbling fool attempting to bring a potion to Hunter, who has his feet encased in stone - which, incidentally is also the Alchemist’s fault! Standing between you and Hunter are a bunch of Earthshapers with clubs - who would just love to smash that potion vial… even more annoying is the fact the Alchemist is indecisive and randomly decides to change direction after you've spent ages headbutting the Earthshapers aside. Want to know the most infuriating thing though? Once you've freed Hunter, he has an orb quest for you where you can get revenge on the Earthshapers - but you need to have learned the Headbash skill - something you learn in the third world. When you return later with Headbash, you'll have to escort the Alchemist AGAIN!

05/09/2017

My Top 5 Worst Crash Team Racing Tracks

I’m a big fan of Crash Team Racing - I’m generally not all that interested in realistic driving games, I wasn’t interested in Ridge Racer on the PS1 in the 90s and I’m not interested in Forza Motorsport on the Xbox One today. However, I do enjoy playing the more wacky and silly driving games - namely those that involve anthropomorphic creatures, downright dangerous power-ups and items you literally throw at one another and any tracks that involve flying, inhuman jumps or being underwater, in space or at the top of a mountain - basically anything that’s super unrealistic… 

Crash Team Racing is one of my favourite driving games and one of my top PS1 games overall - I played it to death as a kid and still enjoy the odd spot of it now and then as an adult when I’m looking for a nostalgia trip. However, nostalgia goggles cannot hide the atrocity of the tracks on this list. This is my personal least favourites - this is my Top 5 Worst Crash Team Racing Tracks.


5 - Turbo Track
For me, this track is more of a disappointment than anything. I went into this track expecting turbo pads to the extent that Oxide Station has - multiple ones in rows for tons of speed boosts, crazy turbo jumps and basically a track where you’d always be going at your top speed. That’s not the case with Turbo Track - it only has a handful of boost pads, of which you’re expected to maintain your turbo between them - the gaps between them are also quite large and features some really tight turns that are near impossible for an advanced level driver. It’s also quite a generic and boring track when compared to the others that are decked out with Crash Bandicoot lore and loveliness - it’s just a boring circuit that would fit in with any realistic boring racing game - not Crash Team Racing.


4 - Dragon Mines
Next, we've got Dragon Mines - the home track of Komodo Joe - and also the track you race him on for his boss key. This track is a perfect mix of annoying tropes - water hazards, pit drops, large obstacles that can squash you, awkward turns and tons of blockades you can easily crash into and even some shortcuts that put you at a worse advantage if you use them! CPU opponents, oddly enough never get squashed by the minecarts, never slow down in the water and never fall off the rickety wooden platforms - but I can guarantee that you will! Also, why is a mine related to the Komodo Brothers? In Crash Bandicoot 2, they were depicted as samurai - not gold prospectors!


3 - Polar Pass
In third place, we've got the token ICE LEVEL. Every countdown of the hardest, worst or most frustrating levels in a game will no doubt feature an underwater level or an ice level. Thankfully, the underwater level Roo’s Tubes is actually a bearable track - but no such luck with Polar Pass. Crash Team Racing actually features TWO ice and snow tracks and a snow themed hub world. However, whereas Blizzard Bluff is more of a snow track, Polar Pass is an ice track through and through - complete with the traction, or lack of it that comes with driving on icy surfaces. What makes this track more annoying are the jumps, tight corners and the stupid seals that feel the need to CONSTANTLY get in your way… I've lost count of how many times I've crashed, span out or fallen off the glacier. The one saving grace of this track is seeing the annoying polar bear from Crash Bandicoot 2 encased in a block of ice.


2 - Cortex Castle
In 2nd place, it's Cortex Castle. Just look at this map. Did the designers use a protractor when they made this track? Look at all these tight corners - some of them are practically 90 degrees! It's almost impossible to take these turns at maximum speed whilst using an advanced driver. Even some intermediate drivers would find them difficult. Along with the corners, there's also lots of jumps, sudden drops and massive spiders that drop from the ceiling and cause your driver to spin out. The item boxes are placed in such a manner that the drivers in front will take all of them and not leave a single one for those in the back - in general the track is unfair when played against CPU opponents and hilariously infuriating when playing with friends.


1 - Hot Air Skyway
Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the winner of the most obvious place award! The worst Crash Team Racing track, in my humble opinion, is Hot Air Skyway. This track is simply infuriating - it consists of a bunch of weird fabric pathways suspended in the air with infinite chances of falling off the edge or being pushed off the edge. Some like to say it’s the Crash Team Racing equivalent of Rainbow Road from Mario Kart. I’m inclined to both agree and disagree on this one. The equivalent Mario Kart of the time was Mario Kart 64 - the Mario Kart with the WORST Rainbow Road. Why? It had WALLS. Rainbow Road should never have WALLS. Thus, Hot Air Skyway wins the battle of the 5th-gen air suspended race tracks. To add insult to injury, you have to play this track a minimum of SIX times throughout adventure mode - once for the trophy, once for the CTR token, once for the relic, once for Pinstripe’s key, once during the yellow gem cup and once during the purple gem cup. It has one saving grace however. The music is pretty good.

22/04/2017

Spyro 2: Gateway To Glimmer - My Top 5 Orb Quests

Spyro 2: Gateway to Glimmer was the first game I played on my Playstation, and was the first game I completed to 100% - yes, in Europe it’s known as Gateway to Glimmer, hold your comments. Anyway - one of the objectives required to achieve said 100% is to collect all 64 orbs - each one being rewarded after completing a task or quest of some description. Some are fun, some are tedious - some I replayed over and over, as they were awesome - some I avoided like the plague, as I hated them so much. Today I’m counting down my Top 5, my personal favourite orb quests from Spyro 2.

5 - Icy Speedway, Parasailing
When I first played Ocean Speedway, I thought that I was going to hate all of the speedway levels - and I was right, except for Icy Speedway - a refreshingly simple speedway challenge, which also includes a fun orb quest. Hooked to a parachute, you must maneuver through a set of 50 colourful rings - you may screw it up once or twice, particularly when the rings come quickly at the end - it’s the fun kind of frustrating, not the sort of frustrating that makes you want to quit the level.


4 - Crystal Glacier, George The Snow Leopard
At first glance you might think, “ugh, an escort quest,” but George the snow leopard is quite possibly the cutest thing you'll ever have to escort in a game. He's rather obedient too - easily persuaded by fish - all you do is to wait by the fishing holes and torch the fish for George to eat - then he’ll happily follow you - and he purrs!


3 - Zephyr, Cowlek Corral I & II
Bo Peep is by far my favourite Spyro 2 character, she's absolutely hilarious - I'm totally on the side of the Land Blubbers in the Blubber VS Breezebuilder war. The quests are simple enough, charge or flame the cowleks and round them up into their pen. What I like about the cowleks are that they're unlike most creatures you have to herd in games - they're actually obedient, they don't wander around or walk off of edges - these ones even walk to the edge of this ledge ready for you to butt them across the gap!


2 - Idol Springs, Foreman Bob's Puzzles
This quest is actually made up of three smaller quests, all of which involve some sort of logic puzzle. Firstly, we have a classic “turn all objects to one colour puzzle,” jumping on blocks to turn them all to yellow. Next we have to feed a hungry idol 10 fish, but only the types of fish he likes, feed him red fish and he’ll vomit up the other fish you've already fed him. And the last puzzle is a memory puzzle in which you need to work out the right order to press coloured stones. It's incredibly satisfying solving each one.
1 - Mystic Marsh, Trading Quest
This quest is one that requires you to explore the level and use logic to solve each piece of the puzzle. The Professor has lost his pencil and gives you an egg that you may be able to trade for a pencil. What ensues is a string of trading one item for another - an egg for a seed, a seed for a rubber duck, a rubber duck for an onion, an onion for a coin and finally a coin for a pencil. What I love about this quest is that the first time I attempted it, I had to really think about the objects and areas in Mystic Marsh and figure out where I could use each item. The egg in the bird’s nest was straightforward enough, but figuring out to add onion to a soup and using a coin in a wishing fountain to wish for a pencil - pure genius.