Review: Plants VS Zombies

Plants VS Zombies is a 2010 novelty tower defence style game from Pop Cap Games, originally released for the PC then later ported to the Xbox Live Arcade, Nintendo DS, Android and iOS devices and all Beko brand washing machines. No not really, but if you own any form of electronic device, it's highly likely you'll be able to play some version of Plants VS Zombies on it. 

Firstly though a disclaimer; today I'm reviewing the GOTY edition available to download on Steam - so not all features I mention may be available on other platforms. Also, the free mobile phone versions are notorious for microtransactions and making the in-game currency as valuable as the Canadian dollar lately.

The basic storyline of Plants VS Zombies is as simple as they come - a hoard of brain-hungry zombies have chosen you as their target. In order to protect your brains, your neighbour Crazy Dave has provided you with a bunch of seed packets from the Bloom N Doom seed company - allowing you to grow your own army of both offensive and defensive plants in order to stop the zombies from crossing your lawn and helping themselves to a tasty morsel of grey matter.

Crazy Dave then continues to appear throughout the story campaign and the post-game content, mainly hosting bizarre mini-games, rambling weird stories and most usefully, selling you new seed packets, upgrades and other cool items literally out of the boot of his car - or as he calls it, Crazy Dave’s Twiddlidinkies. Other than the zombies themselves, he is the only character who shows up in-game, as you yourself are the unseen player character.

The story mode of Plants VS Zombies consists of 50 levels of increasing difficulty, first starting in your front lawn, then moving onto your back lawn (which also has a swimming pool) and eventually onto your roof, which is angled and all plants must be planted within terracotta plant pots. There are also levels that are set at nighttime and allow you the use of nocturnal mushroom and fungi plants and levels that are obscured by fog, rain, thunderstorms etc. Upon successful completion of each level, you will unlock a new seed packet - working towards a complete collection of 50.

In addition to the standard tower-defense style levels, there is also a huge collection of different mini-games, each with their own unique strategies. Some of them, like Beghouled and Beghouled Twist also borrow mechanics from other Pop Cap titles and mix it with the Plants VS Zombies style. There are mini-games that are based around luck (i.e. the Slot Machine) and conserving your sun, i.e. the Last Stand mini game in which you are given a set amount of sun to use to build up your defenses.

There are also two expanded mini-games, Vasebreaker and I Zombie. Vasebreaker is a combination strategy/puzzle game in which all of your plants and the invading zombies are housed within breakable pottery jars - and you must plan your moves carefully to ensure your brains remain uneaten. I Zombie turns the game on its head and allows you to use sun to purchase zombie invaders who will eat through cardboard cut-outs of plants in order to reach the tasty pre-removed brains on the other side of the field. Using a wide variety of different zombies with different skills, each setup will have its own unique solution or set of solutions - and it’s very satisfying to play for the bad guys for a change.

Somewhat out of place is the Zen Garden mode, which allows you to take control of your own greenhouse, watering, fertilising and caring for plants - starting out as shoots that are bought or dropped randomly during gameplay and raised until maturity - upon which you can sell them or keep them as part of your growing collection. Raising these plants is completely optional, but it does allow you to quickly and easily collect large amounts of coins to purchase the more pricey upgrades - and is ideal for gamers who just aren’t satisfied unless they’re collecting something.

Finally there is Survival mode - which is exactly as it sounds - using your already collected seed packets, items and upgrades, you are challenged to see how many waves you can survive and how long you can hold out against the non-stop horde until your brains are eventually eaten. This mode is brilliantly addictive and is great fun to try out new strategies or steal others you find on the Plants VS Zombies wiki and make your own personal adjustments to.

I honestly don’t know how, but I’ve somehow managed to sink over 200 hours into this game - it’s just bizarrely addictive. There’s near-endless different lawn defense strategies, tons of fun secrets and unlocks and no two players will ever defend their lawn the same way.

Review: Papers, Please

Papers, Please is a 2013 game by indie developer Lucas Pope, released on PC, Mac and Linux and later ported to the Playstation Vita. Quite possibly the most unique and innovative premise yet simultaneously dull sounding game in existence - Papers, Please is a paperwork simulator in which you assume the role of a border control guard in the fictional country of Arstotzka - checking passports and accompanying paperwork of those trying to enter the country and detaining any potential terrorists, smugglers or wanted criminals.

A very simple premise also features very simple controls - controlled exclusively with the mouse (and with some optional keyboard functions acquired later that I personally didn't use) - you click and drag the passports and paperwork onto your desk and inspect them for inconsistencies, expiration dates and signs of potential counterfeit documents. 

At your disposal you have a rule book, map of the continent, information regarding each country, a height chart and weight scales, fingerprinting ink and a x-ray machine - all of which will allow you to make the final decision of a green stamp allowing entry or a red stamp denying entry. And naturally anybody who is found with knifes or bombs taped to their thighs or is carrying fraudulent paperwork will be dragged off to the detention cells by the armed guards.

The fictional world to me resembles Germany around the time of the Berlin Wall - with countries divided into “East Grestin” and “West Grestin,” and possibly references neighboring countries like Poland and the Soviet Union. Fears around entrants being vaccinated against tetanus and polio and fears of human trafficking and smuggling also seem to fit within this real-world time period.

Occasionally your humanity will be called into question when you could reunite a mother and son or allow a person to immigrate to live with their husband despite having an expired passport or missing paperwork - but you will personally suffer a citation, lose your wages and potentially end up losing your job. The job, by the way which you “won” in a labour lottery due to jobs being so sought after in the poverty-stricken country - you must maintain a steady wage in order to feed your own family and heat the house in which they live - or else they risk becoming sick or potentially dying.

With each passing the day the rules become more and more strict - demanding that those seeking entry bring more and more different documents, including ID cards, visas, work permits, immigration forms and proof of vaccinations. Rules then demand regular searching of anybody from certain countries, matching height and weight to what's written down to the exact decimal place and cross examining everything they say to ensure no piece of evidence goes unchecked.

The slightest difference such as being a kilo overweight or spelling their name differently will demand further searching - such as taking their fingerprints, checking their background and having them strip completely naked to prove they're not hiding anything else. 

To further complicate matters, often there will be an applicant with a confusing gender - who may look male facially but their passport stats they are female. They must be subjected to a humiliating strip search where you physically examine their genitalia to either prove or disprove what the document says. Which to me seems like a breach of human rights for transgender or intersex people - but then again the game is set in 1983 so at least it's historically accurate - if not politically correct.

I recommend Papers, Please to anybody who can look past superficial things like graphics and storyline and can view unique indie games objectively - you gamers will be the ones who discover real gems and sink hours of your life into an experience you'll never match with any other title. If you're the sort of person who can't function without shooting something for 30 seconds, I recommend you click off this video now and go and choke yourself on Mountain Dew and Hot Pockets.

Perhaps you may struggle if you suffer from any difficulty like dyslexia or dyspraxia that hinders your ability to read - but the game demands a mixture of accuracy and speed, ensuring you can complete your assigned target promptly but also correctly, so don't rush and get sloppy - take your time, learn the rules and detain that convicted murderer on the front page of The Truth of Arstotzka!