The Impossible Quiz: Differences Between The Flash & Phone Versions

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WARNING:

If you have never played The Impossible Quiz before, 

PLAY IT NOW, then come back. 

I give away a lot of the answers in the following VERY LONG rant. Oh, and this rant is also VERY LONG.

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One of my favourite flash games is The Impossible Quiz, made by some hilarious and very talented British dude who goes under the name Splapp-Me-Do. I first found the game in around 2008 when it was only available to play through NotDoppler and of course, there was no such thing as an app version for your non-existent smartphones. 

After I finally got myself a smartphone (albeit a very obsolete Samsung Galaxy S2 that my mam gave me for nowt after she upgraded to an S4), I downloaded the free app and straight away I noticed that there had been significant changes made to the game.

Now I recommend playing The Impossible Quiz to EVERYONE. Anyone who has a half-decent computer that can manage to run an 8MB flash game - but if someone were to ask: "the flash version, or the phone version?" - I'd say the flash version. Here is why:

1) The flash version is the original - everything was made by hand, it has the original music and sound effects and none of the questions had to be changed.

2) The flash version is EASIER. Yes, most of the questions are the same, but for the questions that don't involve simply clicking an answer, using a mouse is a million times easier than sliding your fat sweaty fingers all over a screen that's like 3 inches wide. 

3) Some questions are FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE on the phone version. Some questions on the flash version allow you to run your mouse over the screen to find hidden buttons or to read all available answers before you click them. On the phone, you have to press and hold your finger as you slide it around a tiny screen, all of the information being blocked by your hand as your timer ticks down. Seriously. I've never actually completed The Impossible Quiz on the phone version because I have to skip question #92. And (*SPOILERS*), you require all of your skips to complete the final question, question #110. 

4) As well as making these quizzes, Splapp-Me-Do has also made some cool flash videos on NewGrounds - my favourites being Badly Drawn Dog and Sonic Breaks His Neck. The original flash version of The Impossible Quiz contains numerous nods to Splapp's earlier works, but the phone version has had a lot of them removed for some reason.

As I've finally figured out how to take screenshots on my phone, I've taken some shots of the phone version and some print screens of the original flash version and I'll show you the numerous differences that I noticed:

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Firstly, I'll start with some basic differences. For a start, the music is different. The original flash version's background music included the Rocky theme and Misirlou by Dick Dale for "The Epic 10" final group of questions. I have no idea what the music in the flash version is called, whether it's original music or not.

The flash version's questions were all written by hand - it gave the game a unique home-made style quality to it. The phone's version's questions are all written in the same font.  

Flash Version Title Screen

Phone Version Title Screen

This one is annoying. The whole point of The Impossible Quiz is that it's (almost) impossible. You have 3 lives and you need to answer 110 questions - some with countdown timers and some with insta-kills for incorrect answers. For some reason, the phone version introduced "Moron Marks", which act as checkpoints. Fair enough, when you use them you have to click through screen after screen of yes or no questions to confirm that you're a) a moron, b) of low intelligence, c) a quitter etc. I just think this whole system takes something away from the original concept; and I'm sure all of the other people (including myself) who managed to beat the original flash game without this little cheaty system will agree with me.  

The first question that is different is question #26, "Which of these place names doesn't exist?" - I love this one, namely because all of the real places are in the UK and I've seen several of them whilst out on the motorways. The correct answer is "Arsefacey", no such place exists (in the UK anyway).

I don't get why this question was changed? If it's because of causing possible offence, why not remove "Brown Willy" as well? And remember, in Britain 'arse' is a swearword too. And if it's because of too many little answers to click on a small screen - why not change practically all of the questions from "The Epic 10" too?

PC Version Question #26

Phone Version Question #26

The next question is question #34. In the PC version, the hint was: "Elephants don't like mice!" - in order to get the elephants to run into the mouse-hole, you simply moved your mouse cursor off the screen. Very clever. The phone's version is: "Elephants like being touched!" - do they? Yes, I know the question wouldn't have made sense otherwise, with there being no mouse and all, but I just think it's strange...

PC Version Question #34

Phone Version Question #34

Next is Question #40. I couldn't get a screenshot of the phone version of this because every time I tried, I failed the question because I took my finger off the screen (apparently). 

There are 3 different questions like this in both versions of The Impossible Quiz in which you have to navigate your mouse/finger though a maze of colour. In the flash version, you need to not touch the pink background by pressing right click and moving your cursor over the flash options menu. This is so fucking awesome. In the phone version, the hint is: "If only you had two fingers...", you keep one finger held on the left and tap on the right with another one. It's just not as epic, is it?

Next is question #43. Again, I have no idea why this one was changed, I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions. I do however really like the replacement phone version's question. Probably more than I like the original one. (The PC version's answer is "Tom Cruise", the phone version's answer is "Cataracts".)

PC Version Question #43

Phone Version Question #43

Question #46. The PC original has a screenshot from one of Splapp's flash movies I mentioned earlier; Sonic Breaks His Neck, with the answer to the "question" being: "OMGF U KILLED SONIKKU U BASTUD", Splapp himself previously stating this was a comment he got on NewGrounds. The phone version's question is far less interesting. The answer is just: "No".

PC Version Question #46

Phone Version Question #46

Question #53. Now this one I DO understand the change. A lot of flash games and movies get away with a lot because people tend not to make money from them, either from advertising revenue or whatever. The phone version of The Impossible Quiz DOES have adverts, so obviously, the game itself can't contain any. 

The PC version has a photo of a jar of Marmite (blargh!), while the phone version simply says: "Ma might". Which I think kinda ruins the whole joke. It's not like Splapp never mentions products or people in any of the other questions, so why not just write "Marmite?", it would make more sense. (The answer is: "...But Pa might not", by the way.)

PC Version Question #53

Phone Version Question #53

Next is question #59 - again I only have a screenshot of the PC version because you're on a 10-second timer and taking screenshots on the phone takes a few seconds to respond. This is a very minor difference; in the PC version, you are prompted with the text: "Charge ur lazer!", the whole question is an obvious reference to the popular meme of the time. The phone version is the same, it just lacks the text prompt. 

PC Version Question #59

Question #64 again is a case of changing the question due to not being able to advertise. The original question asks: "Which is true?" and 3 of the answers involve comparing the Nintendo DS to the Sony PSP. In the answer key, Splapp stated that the question was a sort of statement against console fanboys. The phone version replaces 'DS' and 'PSP' with the American organisations 'CIA' and 'FBI' - which I think is weird, considering that Splapp is British. Anyway, the correct answer in both versions is "Egg > 28".

PC Version Question #64

Phone Version Question #64

In question #71, a green square rapidly moves around the four answer boxes and you have to time your click/press so that you hit the green square. In the PC version, the text says: "Oh Christ...", the phone version says: "Oh drat..." - I assume the change was made to avoid offending overly religious Americans. Here in the UK, the vast majority of us don't give a shit about casual blasphemy.

PC Version Question #71

Phone Version Question #71

Question #71 has a weird change - you are faced with a black screen and need to find the light switch - which is on the far left side of the screen. Pressing it will cause the lights to come on, and you're presented with a picture of a lemur. I couldn't get a screenshot of the phone version because it only stays on for like 2 seconds, but the two photos are of different lemurs. This I do know, the phone version is of a ring-tailed lemur who looks very angry. Googling "angry ring tailed lemur" is not bringing up the picture unfortunately. 

PC Version Question #72

Question #80 has a complete change of question, again I don't know why. My only theory is that possibly some Romanians who don't bathe often enough were offended by the 'filthy Romanians' remark. Anyway, that's the correct answer to the PC version, but the phone version has a question that's similar to one from The Impossible Quiz 2. You have to press the "R" - get it, poke R?

PC Version Question #80

Phone Version Question #80

Question #83 is another straight change, but questions I really like, I can't decide which one is better... Probably the phone version because the PC version is a very old and overused joke. Who knows why this was changed? Maybe Splapp was overrun with comments from people who can't spell? Regardless, the answers are: "National Dyslexic Association" and "Fish". 

PC Version Question #83

Phone Version Question #83

Question #86 is a total change again, but I think I know why this one was done. The original PC version is a reference to the Katamari Damacy series, the answer is "The Prince", he wears green clothes and the 'sticky balls' are the Katamaris. Perhaps this is another case of not being able to advertise other games/products. The phone version is another old, terrible joke turned into a question, the answer is "Spain". 

PC Version Question #86

Phone Version Question #86

Question #88 was totally changed and I have no idea why. The PC version is like an interactive section from Splapp's flash movie 'Sonic Breaks His Neck', you need to click his leg rapidly in order to get Dr. Robotnik to snap it in half, then blood pours out everywhere. The phone version is a normal question, but retains the 10 second bomb countdown. The answer is "backwards stars", of course. (By the way, check out my dangerous timer on the phone version screenshot! Fucking wow. :P)

PC Version Question #88

Phone Version Question #88

Question #90 was totally changed too. Again, I can't figure out why - unless it was to respect the late Michael Jackson, who was still alive when the original game was made. Anyway, the answers are "Nonce", and "Jamaica?"

PC Version Question #90

Phone Version Question #90

Now for the questions from "The Epic 10", my favourite question is #101, in which you need to use the on-screen keyboard to spell CHIHUAHUA. I fucking love that word. Anyway, the premise is the same, but the picture of the actual chihuahuas have changed. In the flash version, it's a photo of a real one (correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it's the chihuahua from the Taco Bell adverts) and the phone version has a little cartoon one which I assume Splapp drew. :D

PC Version Question #101

Phone Version Question #101

And the final question that's different is #108. The PC version's hint is "The code is LOST" - the answer being "4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42". (No, I didn't watch Lost, I Googled it. :P) The phone version is a standard question, the answer being: "Don't worry, maybe some heroes will save it."

PC Version Question #108

Phone Version Question #108

And to conclude this VERY LONG post, let's look at the two different Game Over screens. The PC version is pretty basic, the phone version features a picture of The Impossible Quiz's cat - whose name is Chris. :D

The phone version then goes on to ask you if you want to use a Moron Mark, or offers to let you buy more lives. 

PC Version Game Over screen

Phone Version Game Over screen

The SNES Cartridge Urinal: My Thoughts

While looking for ideas for a new Frequent Feature I'm planning, I came across this weird picture with an even weirder caption. I was intriguied and clicked onto their blog. So it seems a group of dudes used an array of D.I.Y. tools, piping, sealant and 40 SNES cartridges to make this:

That is a URINAL made out of SNES CARTRIDGES. 

I'm really conflicted, what do I make of this? Yes, in their post, they clearly state that all the cartridges they used were either broken or shitty sports games that people were selling for like one cent online. They also had a YouTube video embedded that showed the urinal in action - yeah, it ACTUALLY WORKS! But I noticed that 80% of their responses were really negative; the video had tons of dislikes and a fuckload of butthurt fanboys whinging on in the comments. 

It's actually a really cool idea, making furniture out of stuff - it's something I find really fascinating. People use all sorts of things to make tables and chairs and whatnot - so why not a toilet? Seriously butthurt fanboys, chill the fuck out - he's not pissing on YOUR games. He's also not pissing on like a mint condition Earthbound or Super Mario World (these games sell for like £2000 mint condition online) - he's pissing on BROKEN shitty SPORTS TITLES. You wouldn't play them, nobody wants to play them, nobody was buying them - might as well piss on them! 

But seriously though, if you wanted to make a urinal out of cartridges that really made a statement... Make one out of this:

And for the eagle-eyed readers, yes, I'm collecting ideas for a new Frequent Feature... I may have just given away what it'll be... Toilets... Or making things out of cartridges. :P

Petty Victories: Fable Anniversary's Coin Golf & Hero Dolls

So, I pre-ordered Fable Anniversary like last July. It was due to be released in Europe on the 7th of February - I didn't get it until the 8th. RAGE. Zavvi.co.uk - get your shit together; when I pre-ordered Guitar Hero: Greatest Hits like 5 years ago, you sent me it the day BEFORE release day! And don't get me started on Play Asia; when I pre-ordered the U.S. version of Animal Crossing: Wild World, I got it like a whole two months before it came out here in the UK!

Anyway, with frequent distractions this week (i.e. Valentine's Day weekend alone with the fiancée and a chest infection earlier in the week), I've just finished it off, my play time clocking in at around 36 hours - but I did spend a lot of time pissing about, sneaking off with people to burn/shoot/kill them so I could buy out their houses, collecting everything and completing general sidequest shite.

To anyone who is an achievement whore and wants to add Fable Anniversary to their collection of 1000Gs - go for it, it's piss easy. Fable has always been an insultingly simple game, I've completed all 3 of them without ever actually DYING - but Fable II and III both have infuriating achievements that involve trading items online with other players - The Dollcatcher from Fable II and We Need Guns, Lots Of Guns from Fable III. I have neither. In both games, these little cunts of achievements are stopping me from getting the full 100%.

Gah, and in Fable II I even have a chicken suit! I've offered hundreds of people a trade: my chicken suit for the full collection of Hero dolls, but nobody wants to know. ¬_¬

So, Fable Anniversary has two missable achievements and one that requires the use of a device that can use SmartGlass - but the rest are all very easy to get. The only one that caused me to RAGE (again) was Fable Heroes. 

I don't like the pub games. (Yes, I DO have the XBLA title Fable II: Pub Games, but that was purely for bonus items and easy achievements) In order to get the full set of dolls, you need to beat scores at the pub games that are run by the tossers in the taverns, A.K.A. Gamemasters. Most of them are easy and can be made even easier with the use of the Slow Time spell - but one that FUCKED ME OFF no end was this pile of shite known as fucking COIN GOLF. 

(Yes, I know this is a screenshot from the original non-HD version, so shut up.)

Not only is it ridiculously BORING, awkward as fuck to control and is always played in a tavern which is filled to the brim with babbling fucktards who whoop and cheer simply because you're fucking sitting there - YOU HAVE TO PLAY IT TWICE. Once in Oakvale and once in Snowspire. 

Actually, the Snowspire's version isn't anywhere near as annoying. Every time I played, I only bet one coin - I didn't want to waste my money - and it was a good way to monitor how many times I needed to actually play the fucking thing. I did Snowspire's in about 30 attempts. Oakvale's took me over 100. 

Now I don't care if you can do it - judging by the reaction on various online forums, I'm not the only one who hates this fucking shite. It seems with the "HD Update" of Fable: The Lost Chapters, all Lionhead did was make the graphics a bit shinier. It's exactly the same as the original Fable, complete with the shitty 2004 controls and the unresponsive wank from your control and camera sticks. Of course, my case wasn't helped by the fact that my controller has a sticky left stick and tends to lock in place all the time - causing the coin to shoot off the table all the time without me even touching it... 

Regardless, when I did manage to get the last doll I needed, thus one of my last achievements - I took it upon myself to celebrate this small, petty victory:

Mini Review: Burger

I'm not a big fan of phone games, I prefer console or PC stuff simply because I'm not a filthy casual. However, if you ever need to kill a few minutes, are forced to endure your family gatherings or simply don't have your DS on you, some of the Android games are pretty decent. 

My favourites are naturally, Bejeweled, Doodle God, Fruit Ninja and those free quiz games where you match logos/flags/characters etc. I'm also a big fan of the Akinator, simply because I'm getting very good at kicking his genie arse with my obscure gaming knowledge (a post on this coming soon!). 

Another lesser-known game however, is a free Android download simply called BURGER. Burger is a free downloadable app by a company called Magma Mobile and is available on Android phones and tablets, the Apple Store and on Windows Phones too. 

You work as a fast food clerk and fill out as many orders as you can within a time limit, earning more money and unlocking more burger ingredients and side orders. You get people ordering basic cheeseburgers with fries and a Coke, fat fucks who want three Cokes, two fries and a burger with 5 patties and a slice of lettuce or total fucking weirdos who ask for ketchup in a sesame seed bun. WTF? 

It's very simple, fairly addictive and it's FREE. The only problem is, if you're fat (like me), it might make you crave burgers. :)

I find it's easiest to play if you use both thumbs, using your left for ingredients and your right for side orders. It can also go on for AGES. I'm only in like March and I still haven't unlocked everything. Yeah, and for some reason you never get a day off in this fast food restaurant - your boss must be a right twat. 

It also has a silly little create-a-burger mode that you can piss about in - or give it to a kid to keep them quiet for 5 minutes where all of the ingredients and side orders are unlocked. You can take screenshots too. So this is my perfect order if I were a customer in Burger:

It really baffles me though why anybody would want a whole, raw fish in their burger with its head, scales and tail still on though...

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Nuggets Of Recommendation:

You'll like this game if you like:

- Timed colour/picture matching puzzles

- Pick-up-and-play style gameplay

- Free Android apps

Similar games:

- Bejeweled

- BurgerTime

- Pressure Cooker

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1990s Nostalgia: Spyro The Dragon Cereal Box Prize

Another forgotten relic of years gone by is when in the morning (usually before school), you'd open up a fresh box of Kellogg's cereal and inside there would be wonderful prizes. (In the UK we never really called them 'cereal box prizes' per se, but the influx of American TV shows sort of introduced us to the phrase) You'd find stationery (like pencil sharpeners), little toys, action figures, books and sometimes CDs or CD-Roms. Because I'm from the 90s (and the UK), I missed the trend of decoder rings and stuff - but I did manage to find this:

That is a little plastic toy of Spyro The Dragon. So I'm assuming Kellogg's ran this deal around the time Spyro The Dragon was at his peak of popularity during the Playstation 1 era, somewhere around 1998. Remember when Spyro used to be good? Before the influx of all this fucking Skylanders bullshit? Yes, everyone with any decent taste in games knows that the last good Spyro game was Spyro 3: The Year Of The Dragon, and the series went downhill from there - very similar to the fate of Crash Bandicoot - as soon as they hit the PS2, they got shittier and shittier. At least Crash Bandicoot never lent his visage to a series of games that cost upwards of £500 to access every area of the fucking game! 

FIVE FUCKING GRAND. Are you SERIOUS? And in order to maintain their mint condition, you'd NEVER be able to remove them from the packets! Oh, and bear in mind, these are just the figures - NO game is included! I mean for fuck's sake, I'm all for DLC - and the idea of DLC you can physically hold in your hand is awesome - but Skylanders as a gaming property is just utter SHITE. I mean really, compare this:

To this:

What the fuck really. What the bloody hell did they do to Spyro? The original 1998 Spyro in his pseudo-64-bit graphics looks a million times better than the new Spyro. He looks like he's got some sort of learning disability, with his fat face and squished nose. The 90s Spyro was cute, as well as being quite cocky. How I miss the 1990s. :(