"Prickly Animal" Fingerless Gloves?

I love knock-off products - simply because some of them are just so badly done, they're hilarious.

I was mooching around Amazon a while ago, looking for a birthday present for Shelly. I was looking for Sonic The Hedgehog T-Shirts - so I searched for "Sonic The Hedgehog" in the clothing department. Amongst the endless boys' pyjamas, shirts and socks - I found this gem:

"Prickly Animal" fingerless gloves? LMAO! 

No wonder they're currently unavailable, they must've sold out in fucking droves!

Glitchfest: The Sims 3, The Naked Private Investigator

The Sims 3 is a game that is prone to all sorts of weird glitches - I've had my game glitch out tons of times, but none of them have been all that interesting to document - mainly freezing and items losing their textures - but a few weeks ago, I experienced a genuinely entertaining glitch.

Most of the time, I tend to only play with one Sim and sometimes a few pet Sims - mainly myself - I like to try everything once, all the skills and careers, for example. So, I decided to try out the Private Investigator career on this save. For those who don't know, it's a career that came with the Ambitions expansion pack and allows you to solve crimes, all while rocking a trench-coat and wielding a magnifying glass.

Except, when my character went to put on her trench-coat for a case - this happened:

Yeah. My Sim decided to wander around naked. What I found odd was that she took off everything except a ring on her hand and a bracelet. My Sim, being me of course, also wears glasses - but she took those off too.

What made this even more hilarious was the animations private investiagators use - they sneak around on tiptoe with their magnifying glass, mooching around a public park looking for clues - naked.

What's also quite disturbing is that I tried to make my Sim accurate to me - she turned out a bit thinner due to her height - honestly, I think all Sims are like 6 feet tall - the only person I've managed to make accurate to their height and build is Shelly, because she is almost 6 feet tall - I kinda DO look like this naked... Just with a bit of a bigger belly - but the arse is weirdly accurate...

Don't you think it's odd that even though the Sims don't have any pubic hair/genital features or nipples - EA found it necessary to give her fucking TAN LINES around her arse?! 

Bear in mind, I don't use any mods with The Sims 3 - I have all of the expansion packs and stuff packs, and all of the store content I could torr- ...legally download - I have no idea what could have caused this glitch, but browsing YouTube, I'm not the only one it's happened to. 

And so you can experience the hilarity of the naked private investigator animations, here's a video. Enjoy.

Jitendra, The EA Customer Service Robot

One of the downsides of buying games 2nd hand or preowned is that often, DLC codes or codes used to import content onto your harddrive have already been used by their previous owner.

This happened to me when I bought a 2nd hand copy of Rock Band 2. At the time, I was still in college - thus, had a lack of funds to spend on games - so practically everything I bought was 2nd hand - usually from the local CeX in town. I'd previously imported the songs from Rock Band 1 and the song packs - as I like to have a massive library to choose from. I was due to get Rock Band 3 when it came out, so I wanted to import the songs from Rock Band 2 as well.

When I discovered that my Rock Band 2 came without a manual, and thus, without the code that was printed on the back of the manual - I decided to take my issue to the EA customer service department on their website.

Long story short, I ended up buying another copy of Rock Band 2 that had a manual and a code and trading in my old copy back to CeX. Why? Well read the conversation I had with Jitendra, the EA Customer Service Robot and find out for yourselves:

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Jitendra: Hi, my name is Jitendra. How may I help you?

2406577524: Hi, when I bought my copy of Rock Band 2, it didn't come with a manual and I wanted the code to import the songs - is there a way I can get a replacement?

Jitendra: For replacement you need to contact the warranty department.

Jitendra: Could you please let me know the exact issue.

2406577524: I don't have a code to import the songs into Rock Band 3

Jitendra: All right. In order to resolve your issue, may I know your  E mail account associated with your EA account?

2406577524: mog_anarchy@hotmail.co.uk

Jitendra: May I have your date of birth please.

2406577524: 24/09/91

Jitendra: I am sorry. Date of birth is not match with the detail available in our data base .

2406577524: 24th of September 1991

Jitendra: I am sorry its not correct.

Jitendra: Could you please let me know any game key which is registered under your account.

2406577524: The Sims 3 is registered, where do I find the key?

2406577524: Oh, I found it - it's BDTM-6DYS-BU9W-VE8Q

2406577524: Sorry, the one on the back of the manual - 19425

Jitendra: All right. Please wait.

Jitendra: Kindly use this code   B39NPNHCHXMCHCPJ

2406577524: Thanks for helping

Jitendra: Kindly try with the given code and then let me know  whether it's working or not..

Jitendra: It's working or not.

2406577524: Hold on a second

2406577524: No, it says the code isn't valid

2406577524: Will the code work on the PAL version?

Jitendra: Pal version? What exactly it mean.

2406577524: The European version of Rock Band 2

Jitendra: All right. please wait. I provide  you the another code.

Jitendra: G3B9-35BQ-QAHL

Jitendra: Kindly try with this code.

2406577524: It says the code isn't valid either

Jitendra: Again.

Jitendra: Wait let me check.

Jitendra: PNGM-79NA-FDET

Jitendra: Kindly use this code.

2406577524: That one doesn't work either.

2406577524: The PAL version codes are 25-digits long, these are too short.

Jitendra: B3ZCGG83XPCG7A7A

Jitendra: Try this.

2406577524: Doesn't work.

Jitendra: Wait let me check why its happening.

Jitendra: I suggest you please contact our warranty department.

2406577524: OK thanks for helping

You have disconnected.

The Best & Worst Fallout 3 & New Vegas DLCs

Fallout 3 and Fallout: New Vegas continually duke it out to see which is my favourite of the two - they're so damn similar - see Between Two Wastelands - it can be hard to choose. Ultimately, I tend to plump for Fallout 3, because it seems like a bigger and overall better game, with more locations, characters, better music and better quests - but Fallout: New Vegas has many features I love too, like hardcore mode and the faction rankings.

Anyway - because these games are so similar, I decided that I could compare their DLCs easily, and compile this list - my favourite and least favourite of the Fallout 3 and Fallout: New Vegas DLCs. There are 9 in total, with 5 from Fallout 3 and 4 from Fallout: New Vegas. I'm not including the Courier's Stash or Gun Runners Arsenal in this countdown, because as far as I'm concerned - they're just item packs and don't add any new characters, quests, locations or storylines.

Also, bear in mind - I enjoyed ALL of these DLCs in their own way - just some, I enjoyed WAY more than others. I recommend you buy them ALL - because they're worth buying, none of them should be totally avoided.

Obviously, this countdown contains SPOILERS.

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9. Operation: Anchorage 
My least favourite DLC is Fallout 3's Operation: Anchorage.If this DLC was related to any game other than Fallout, I would probably have been kinder to it. To me, this just isn't Fallout. I like the concept behind it - showing you the events surrounding the liberation of Anchorage and how it lead to the current Fallout setting - but was virtual reality the best way to do it? To me, this just doesn't feel like the same game, it feels like one of those less-than-wonderful 1st-person-shooter titles... It's also far too linear, allowing for VERY little exploration. Also, is it me, or do you think the person you play as in the virtual reality shouldn't be your character? To me, it seemed odd that all of your stats and stuff carried over - I think it would have been cooler if you got to play as a different person with a different skillset. Also, because it's virtual reality - you don't get to keep any of your lovely spoils - in fact, you can't loot corpses or pick up random clutter - you are only allowed to interact with specific objects. It's too restrictive and it's too linear - this is not Fallout.

8.  Honest Hearts
My second least favourite DLC out of all the DLCs in Fallout 3 and New Vegas is the 2nd one from New Vegas, Honest Hearts. This is another DLC, which to me doesn't feel like a Fallout game. The whole area isn't too different from the Mojave Desert - perhaps this would have been a better DLC for Fallout 3? The contrast between the urban Capital Wasteland and the Zion Canyon would have been so cool - but to me, there isn't much of a difference between the Mojave and Zion. The new tribal style weapons and crafting recipes were pretty cool - but to me, the choice system didn't feel too different - which was evident by the fact you received the same XP and prizes no matter what path you chose - the followers were quite meh and the whole area was rather small and sparse with hardly anywhere to explore. It's also the DLC that feels the shortest overall to me - and left the smallest impression - in fact, I had to replay the bloody thing to remind myself of what happens in order to write this countdown!

7. Dead Money
Next is the first DLC released for Fallout: New Vegas, Dead Money. Now, on paper, the whole poisonous cloud idea sounded pretty good - it seemed like something that would really fit in with the whole hardcore mode survival aspect - adding to that is the fact that when you first arrive, you are stripped of all of your items - making so you had to cope with what you could find - also, very cool. However - the poisonous cloud? It's a massive PAIN IN THE FUCKING ARSE. It's fucking EVERYWHERE and there's no way to bloody get rid of it. Adding to this, the questline is a bit meh, the characters are a bit meh - I'm a pacifist, I tried to keep everyone happy so I didn't have to kill anyone - screw up one dialogue check and that plan goes out of the window - it's damn near impossible to get all of the gold bars without cheating or following a painstaking route, the Sierra Madre itself seems a bit barren, not really much to do - can't return to the area once it's completed - Mehhhh.

6. Broken Steel
Next on the list is the Broken Steel DLC from Fallout 3. While I appreciate what this DLC set out to do, for first-time players - it can prove to be a massive pain in the arse. Case in point - the fucking Super Mutant Overlords! These twats are designed to be fought at higher levels, like what you would be when you attempt this post-game DLC quest - but no, they get threw into the early areas of the game too, and can very easily overpower you, unless you use grenades or set your difficulty to Very Easy. I liked the quests that revolved around the Aqua Pura or Aqua Cura - but I didn't like the final quest with Liberty Prime and all the other Brotherhood bullshit, so I didn't really enjoy the continuation - unlike in Fallout: New Vegas, you couldn't choose who to side with, it was thrust upon you. Also, as most of the quests took place in existing areas, there weren't many new lands or areas to explore, just new Capital Wasteland ones crowbarred into existing areas. Meh.

5. The Pitt
Next is the second DLC from Fallout 3, The Pitt. This DLC really gives you a chance to be totally on whatever moral side you want to be - virtuous paragon or cold-blooded devil. You start out as a slave and are forced to compete in an arena, fighting other slaves, as well as going on scavenger hunts around a dangerous factory infested with mutants to find steel ingots - eventually allowing you climb the ranks of slaves until you can be accepted as a slaver, rather than a slave. The final quest then makes you choose which group to side with - perfect for those who prefer a good or evil character, not so great for those who like to remain neutral. I would also say that the scavenger hunt quest is a perfect opportunity to explore, but the DLC lacks player homes, massive open areas to explore and followers - the standard goodies most DLCs come with.

4. Point Lookout
Next is the Point Lookout DLC from Fallout 3. As you've probably gathered, I like to explore. Any huge open area with lots of locations to discover is bound to be a hit with me. Hence Point Lookout, which has what I believe to be the biggest new map added by a DLC - I spent a long time mooching around this great place, picking the wild Punga Fruit and fighting off the psycho hill-billy locals - not only is it great for explorers, the quests aren't half bad either - especially the quest that involves ingesting the hallucinogenic seeds of the Mother Punga - leading to a trippy sequence of smashing Nuka Cola Quantums, giant Bobbleheads and coming face-to-face with the corpse of your dead mother.

3. Lonesome Road
Next is the final DLC released for Fallout: New Vegas, Lonesome Road. Is Fallout too easy for you? Do you need a challenge in your life? Then look no further. Lonesome Road is the most challenging DLC of the Fallout games I've played - namely due to some of the most highly irradiated areas in the game, bosses and enemies with ridiculously overpowered weapons and armour, a general lack of supplies lying around and vending machines with overpriced merchandise. The title Lonesome Road is a little misleading, however - as you do get a 'new' companion, in the form of a prototype? E-DE robot - which has the added bonus of the ED-E companion in the Mojave Wasteland receiving the same upgrades, allowing him to craft weapons, ammunition and the like. The quests are relatively simple, all really given the target of getting through each area - which allows you to explore said areas to your heart's content. The side mission of detonating all of the discarded nuclear warheads is also a great scavenger hunt quest and the ridiculously overpowered secret Deathclaw boss is fucking insane. Also, the main antagonist of the DLC, Ulysses is one of the biggest knobs in gaming - who constantly talks to you, but his dialogue choices will change depending on choices you previously made in the main game, such as who you sided with.

2. Mothership Zeta
My second-favourite DLC is the Mothership Zeta DLC from Fallout 3. This DLC is great, based purley on how different it is. You're not exploring forgotten reaches of nuclear-blasted wasteland like every other DLC - you're on a fucking alien spaceship! The DLC even opens with a nice 1st-person shot of your character being violently anally probed - completed with screen blood. (Anal probes are funny :P) Also, unlike some other DLCs, the mothership remains accessible (some of it anyway) after completing the DLC, it comes with some great characters, most of which can be followers - and it can double as a player home. To go along with the alien theme, there's a shitload of new weapons and items - complete with the standard fare, under the guise that the aliens are studying Earth's technology and culture - awesome. While some of the quests can be a little linear, and as a mentioned earlier - some of the areas become blocked off after they're completed, the fun characters, interesting quests and overall different feel - Mothership Zeta is out of this world. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

1. Old World Blues
And my personal favourite DLC is Old World Blues, from Fallout: New Vegas. This DLC is fucking amazing. It embodies both the classic Fallout wasteland feel as well as embracing the more advanced technology with robots, laser weaponry, cyborg dogs and it also includes the utterly bizarre. The characters are all great, some of them are genuinely hilarious - especially your disembodied brain. Speaking of which, at the start of this DLC, you're stripped of not only your equipment - but your major organs - your heart, your brain and your spine - which can really mess with your current SPECIAL points and character skillset. The new items and weapons are a lot of fun, the enemies are a tough challenge - the quests are all very different and some even provide a unique challenge - such as the stealth maze. Probably the best part of this DLC is the amazing player home known as The Sink - in which all of your household objects talk - including slutty lightswitches, a germophobic basin, a psychotic toaster hell-bent on world domination, a suave fertilizer station and Muggy - your own personal mini Secruitron who is obsessed with coffee mugs. This DLC allows for maximum exploration as well as quests, sidequests and secrets and never once feels restrictive or linear. Amazing from start to finish - you MUST play it.

Gaming With My Colour-blind Fianceé

This is Shelly. She's my fianceé of six years. I bought her an Xbox 360 for our 2nd year anniversary - I was still at university and had more money than I knew what to do with it. And she needed an Xbox. :P

Shelly likes retro games, especially the Atari 2600 and the Sega Mega Drive. She also has a bizarre collection of PS2 games, ranging from shit like The X Factor singing game to Japanese robot RPGs and Metal Gear Solid-esque spy stealth games. Shelly likes Sonic the Hedgehog and Kirby, and collects plushies and collectables.

She is also red-green colour-blind.

Before you butt in with "women can't be colour-blind!" - yes they can. It's just rare, and they can only be red-green colour-blind, not blue-yellow. According to this site, there's a 1 in 200 chance that a woman can be colour-blind, compared to the 1 in 12 chance in men. There's also a nice chart that shows how a woman could become colour-blind. Educate yourselves. :P

On a typical day-to-day basis, Shelly's colour-blindness doesn't affect her all that much - she will occasionally ask me to verify what colour something is and sometimes ask me to read something to her because of the coloured ink used to print something screws with her eyes. Shelly recently expressed to me that she was surprised to hear that first-aid kits come in both green and red boxes - I was explaining that in the UK they are usually green, but in the US, and thus in a lot of games (like Left 4 Dead), they're red. At least Shelly doesn't like bananas. :)

But the most noticeable issues with her colour-blindness occurs when gaming.

Luigi & Mario - Normal colour vision

Luigi & Mario - Red-green colour-blind

Gameplay that revolves around colour-matching are the most annoying - unless they come with a colour-blind setting or mode in the options. A retro game that Shelly always wanted to play but just couldn't, due to a lack of a colour-blind mode was Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine. I can see why - most of the beans have a very similar shape, and when there's shit-tons of random colour clusters on the screen and the speed is at max, Shelly just doesn't have time to focus her eyes and try to differentiate the differences between the red and green beans.

Bubble Bobble (Bust-A-Move) - Normal colour vision

Bubble Bobble (Bust-A-Move) - Red-green colour-blind

I always thought it was odd that in Resident Evil, the zombies' blood was green and you had to go into the options menu to change it to red - probably to make them appear less human. Shelly didn't even notice when I made the switch.

When learning how to play Guitar Hero, instead of saying 'green-red-yellow' - I had to teach Shelly with 'button 1-2-3' - because she kept on mixing up the green and red buttons - which isn't helped by the fact that they're SIDE BY SIDE. She knows NOW, but the learning curve of playing Guitar Hero was made steeper by Harmonix's overlooking of colour-blind gamers.

Guitar Hero - Normal colour vision

Guitar Hero - Red-green colour-blind

One of the worst examples I can think of - and if I was Shelly, this would have INFURIATED me was when we were playing Pokémon HeartGold and SoulSilver together. I played SoulSilver, she played HeartGold. She was level grinding on route 36 - she leaned over and said "why is this Stantler a different colour?" - I looked, and it was a NORMAL Stantler.

"...Did the last one you fought have like a SPARKLE?"
"Yeah, I just thought they did that."
"Did you KILL IT?"
"...Yeah?"
"ARGHGHFGFGFGFGHHFGAAHGH!!"

Normal & Shiny Stantler - Normal colour vision

Normal & Shiny Stantler - Red-green colour-blind

Because red and green both look like BROWN to Shelly - the GREEN shiny Stantler looked BROWN! At the time she was new to Pokémon and I hadn't really explained about shiny ones because I didn't want to bog her down with too much information. I've been playing Pokémon for over 12 years and have NEVER found a shiny! Shelly found one and accidentally KILLED it because she couldn't TELL it was a shiny!

When we're mining in Minecraft - Shelly is constantly asking me if she's found Redstone or Emeralds. I say, "Just assume it's Redstone, because we NEVER find Emeralds". When playing by herself on her own save, she DID find Emeralds! But she only knew that they were Emeralds because they were found next to some Redstone and she was able to compare the two colours side-by-side.

Mega Mushroom & 1-Up Mushroom - Normal colour vision

Mega Mushroom & 1-Up - Red-green colour-blind

When Shelly, Ash and I play co-op Castle Crashers, we have to choose our characters carefully. The Behemoth have really screwed up here - to Shelly, the green, red and orange knights ALL LOOK THE SAME. Thus I play with red, Ash plays with blue and Shelly plays with the DLC pink knight. I can imagine this being a problem with other local co-op games with similar coloured characters, but the one that first comes to mind is Castle Crashers.

Games developers really ought to take their colour-blind players into account - it's really not that complicated, just make sure you don't put any red text on a green background. Or similar colour-combinations. Why would you do it anyway, it just looks vile. (Sorry, I couldn't resist, if you're colour-blind, just highlight to read it.)

Games that I know have that come with a colour-blind mode or settings include:

• Battlefield 3 & Battlefield 4
• Borderlands 2
• Destiny
• Faster Than Light
• Frenzic
• Hexic
• League Of Legends
• Left 4 Dead & Left 4 Dead 2
• Peggle & Peggle 2
• Perfect Dark Zero
• Pop
• Rocksmith
• Splatoon
• Tropico 3
• World Of Warcraft
• World Of Warplanes
• Zuma's Revenge

If 1 in 12 men are colour-blind, and the vast majority of gamers are male - I'm betting that Shelly isn't the only person who has these problems when gaming. If you too are a colour-blind gamer and are affected, let me know in the comments section - also if you know of any other games with a colour-blind mode, I'll add it to my above list. :)