Review: Papers, Please

Papers, Please is a 2013 game by indie developer Lucas Pope, released on PC, Mac and Linux and later ported to the Playstation Vita. Quite possibly the most unique and innovative premise yet simultaneously dull sounding game in existence - Papers, Please is a paperwork simulator in which you assume the role of a border control guard in the fictional country of Arstotzka - checking passports and accompanying paperwork of those trying to enter the country and detaining any potential terrorists, smugglers or wanted criminals.

A very simple premise also features very simple controls - controlled exclusively with the mouse (and with some optional keyboard functions acquired later that I personally didn't use) - you click and drag the passports and paperwork onto your desk and inspect them for inconsistencies, expiration dates and signs of potential counterfeit documents. 

At your disposal you have a rule book, map of the continent, information regarding each country, a height chart and weight scales, fingerprinting ink and a x-ray machine - all of which will allow you to make the final decision of a green stamp allowing entry or a red stamp denying entry. And naturally anybody who is found with knifes or bombs taped to their thighs or is carrying fraudulent paperwork will be dragged off to the detention cells by the armed guards.

The fictional world to me resembles Germany around the time of the Berlin Wall - with countries divided into “East Grestin” and “West Grestin,” and possibly references neighboring countries like Poland and the Soviet Union. Fears around entrants being vaccinated against tetanus and polio and fears of human trafficking and smuggling also seem to fit within this real-world time period.

Occasionally your humanity will be called into question when you could reunite a mother and son or allow a person to immigrate to live with their husband despite having an expired passport or missing paperwork - but you will personally suffer a citation, lose your wages and potentially end up losing your job. The job, by the way which you “won” in a labour lottery due to jobs being so sought after in the poverty-stricken country - you must maintain a steady wage in order to feed your own family and heat the house in which they live - or else they risk becoming sick or potentially dying.

With each passing the day the rules become more and more strict - demanding that those seeking entry bring more and more different documents, including ID cards, visas, work permits, immigration forms and proof of vaccinations. Rules then demand regular searching of anybody from certain countries, matching height and weight to what's written down to the exact decimal place and cross examining everything they say to ensure no piece of evidence goes unchecked.

The slightest difference such as being a kilo overweight or spelling their name differently will demand further searching - such as taking their fingerprints, checking their background and having them strip completely naked to prove they're not hiding anything else. 

To further complicate matters, often there will be an applicant with a confusing gender - who may look male facially but their passport stats they are female. They must be subjected to a humiliating strip search where you physically examine their genitalia to either prove or disprove what the document says. Which to me seems like a breach of human rights for transgender or intersex people - but then again the game is set in 1983 so at least it's historically accurate - if not politically correct.

I recommend Papers, Please to anybody who can look past superficial things like graphics and storyline and can view unique indie games objectively - you gamers will be the ones who discover real gems and sink hours of your life into an experience you'll never match with any other title. If you're the sort of person who can't function without shooting something for 30 seconds, I recommend you click off this video now and go and choke yourself on Mountain Dew and Hot Pockets.

Perhaps you may struggle if you suffer from any difficulty like dyslexia or dyspraxia that hinders your ability to read - but the game demands a mixture of accuracy and speed, ensuring you can complete your assigned target promptly but also correctly, so don't rush and get sloppy - take your time, learn the rules and detain that convicted murderer on the front page of The Truth of Arstotzka!

Viscera Cleanup Detail: Caduceus Paperwork & PID Guide

If you're a completionist (like me) and want to squeeze every single possible % completion out of each level in Viscera Cleanup Detail, you've come to the right blog. Percentage is awarded based on the overall cleanliness of a level, up to the total of 100%. However, there is additional points to be earned by completing the additional objectives, namely the stacking zones and the dreaded PAPERWORK.

Here's a little guide to help you achieve the maximum percentage score on the Caduceus level.

In order to award you the full percentage ALL of the text boxes (EXCEPT the Union Report at the very bottom) must be COMPLETELY filled in. In order to accomplish this, I simply CTRL+V'd in a Notepad document of full stops I prepared earlier. You're welcome to copy this method, mash random keyboard buttons or paste in a block of Lorem Ipsum text - whatever fills the box up completely.

For your employee ID number, mash the number pad with random numbers until that too is filled completely.


The tick boxes regarding your personal opinions can be ticked with whatever you please, as long as SOMETHING is ticked.

The following boxes in the Incident Particulars section must be ticked: 
ALIENS, ENVIRONMENTAL HAZARDS, GUNS, MILITARY and VIRUSES

In the text boxes, fill out the following:

• Number of Dead Aliens: 12
• Number of Shell Casings: 108
• Number of Bullet Holes: 129

To find the number of incinerated items (as this number will differ from player to player) follow this file path:

Local disk > Program files (x86) > Steam > SteamApps > Common > Viscera > Saves

Find the save file of the level you are currently playing and open it with Notepad. CTRL+F "NumIncineratedItems" and you will find the number to enter in the "Number of Items Incinerated" column.

There are a total of 12 dead employees found on this level whose PIDs must be collected and scanned at the Punch-O-Matic machine.

I recommend as you clean the level and dispose of body parts and viscera to leave the PIDs exactly where you find them and collect them at the end of the level before filling out the WTF forms and their cause of death - if you move them around, they may become mixed up. Also please note, I do not refer to the employees by name, as in this level, the names are randomised and will differ from player to player.

This employee is found in the room with the incinerator between the short flights of stairs. They show signs of being DISMEMBERED, EVISCERATED, HALVED, SLAIN and SLICED.

This employee is found in the corner of the corridor with the Slosh-O-Matic bucket machine. They show signs of being EVISCERATED, LIQUEFIED OTHER and SLICED.

This employee is found behind the incinerator beside the crate stacking area. They show signs of being DISMEMBERED, EVISCERATED, HALVED, IMPACT, SLAIN and THROWN.

This employee is found at the far end of the incinerator room in a doorway alcove. They show signs of being DISMEMBERED, EVISCERATED, HALVED, SLAIN and SLICED.

 There are two dead employees in the crate stacking area in the room with the incinerator. The one on the left shows signs of being DISMEMBERED, EVISCERATED, HALVED and SLAIN.

There are two dead employees in the crate stacking area in the room with the incinerator. The one on the right shows signs of being DECAPITATED, DISMEMBERED, EVISCERATED, HALVED and SLAIN.

In the small dark room with the barrel stacking area are two employees. The one in the corner next to a vial of alien virus shows signs of being DISMEMBERED, DRAGGED, EVISCERATED, HALVED and SLAIN.

This employee is found in the barrel stacking area. They show signs of being DECAPITATED, DISMEMBERED, DRAGGED, EVISCERATED, HALVED and SLAIN.

There is an employee behing the vending machine. They show signs of being DECAPITATED, DISMEMBERED, EVISCERATED, HALVED and SLAIN.

There is an employee lying at the bottom of the stairs leading to the small upper area. They show signs of being SLAIN.

In the area with the J-HARM are two employees. The one directly opposite the entrance shows signs of being DISMEMBERED, EVISCERATED, HALVED, IMPACT, SLAIN and THROWN.

In the area with the J-HARM are two employees. The one at the bottom of stairs shows signs of being DECAPITATED, DISMEMBERED, EVISCERATED, HALVED and SLAIN.

Review: Zoombinis

The Logical Journey of the Zoombinis was a 1996 educational CD-rom released by Brøderbund for Windows 95 operating systems. I have fond memories playing this original version in the computer room at primary school - if we finished our assigned work and had time left until break, we were allowed to play one of the many educational games installed - and the vast majority of us always opted for Zoombinis. One day, our year 5 teacher offered a Mars Bar as a prize to whoever could beat the Pizza Pass level on very very hard difficulty - and I won it. I don’t even like Mars Bars, but I can always boast that achievement. 

Zoombinis was later ported to Windows XP as Zoombinis Logical Journey in 2001 and finally released on Steam in 2015. These newer versions retained the originals’ music, sound effects and narration but incorporated updated graphics and smoother controls. It also altered progression to higher difficulties, making you perfect an area 3 times instead of just once before the difficulty would increase. The updated versions also included in-game achievements and the Steam release includes Steam Trading Cards and badges.

At the beginning of the game, Zoombini Isle is taken over by the evil Bloats and the Zoombinis are forced to become slaves. Hoping to find prosperity elsewhere, a group of 16 escape on a boat in search of a new land to call home. At the start of the game, you create your own group of 16 Zoombinis who are differentiated by having different hairstyles, different shaped eyes or glasses, different colours of nose and different types of feet - from sneakers to springs or propeller fans. Combining different features allows for the creation of 625 unique Zoombini characters.

The gameplay of Zoombinis revolves around completing puzzles, which are logic or mathematical based. Some require taking into account the Zoombinis features, finding patterns and matching shapes while others require problem solving, spatial awareness and strategy. There are a total of 16 different puzzles all together and each one can be attempted on one of four difficulty levels. Once a player successfully guides a group of 16 Zoombinis through a section of 3 puzzles without losing any, the difficulty will gradually increase. Increased difficulty will add more obstacles, dud answers or red herrings, more factors to consider when making a choice or less chances to fail.

The puzzles are as follows; The Big, The Bad and the Hungry section is comprised of The Allergic Cliffs, Stone Cold Caves and Pizza Pass. The Allergic Cliffs involves figuring out which Zoombini feature the sneezing cliffs are allergic to and working out which of the two bridges is safe to cross. For example, the top cliff may sneeze at Zoombinis with red noses, while the bottom cliff may sneeze at Zoombinis wearing shoes. Stone Cold Caves is very similar but instead includes 4 different paths instead of 2, this time guarded by a group of stone gargoyles who will only allow certain features of Zoombinis to pass into their cave. Pizza Pass is my favourite puzzle and the one that seems to be the most recognisable amongst players - you must make a pizza for Arno the Omnivorous (and in later levels his two friends) - but he dislikes certain toppings. For example, he may dislike mushrooms but ask for more toppings if you only add cheese and pepperoni.

The path splits into two at this point as the Zoombinis reach a campsite - these are rest areas where you can store Zoombinis and is also where Zoombinis who are knocked out of the later levels will end up, instead of going back to Zoombini Isle. Going north leads to Who’s Bayou whilst going east leads to Deep Dark Forest. The first puzzle in Who’s Bayou is Captain Cajun's Ferry, which revolves around looking for patterns and making matches, as only Zoombinis who share a feature in common with the one sitting beside them are allowed to sit on the boat. Titanic Tattooed Toads also involves looking for patterns - you must find a row of lily pads that form a path across the river and choose a toad with the matching tattoo for a Zoombini to ride on. These include colours, shapes and symbols. Stone Rise is similar to Captain Cajun’s Ferry and involves making matches and pairs of Zoombini features to light up sections of the floor and allow them to pass. This gradually gets more difficult in later levels when you have to factor in more than one feature at a time.

The first puzzle in the Deep Dark Forest brings you face to face with the Zoombinis’ nemeses the Fleens. You must lure them off the tree branch by baiting them with a Zoombini you think best correlates to the features they show. After this is Hotel Dimensia, a mathematics based puzzle that involves organising Zoombinis into columns and rows based on the features they share with others and the differences - for example a row of pink noses and a column of spiky hair. Finally there is the Mudball Wall, which in my opinion is very similar to sudoku but instead of numbers, employs the use of colours and shapes. You must find the pattern and hit the correct spaces on the wall to allow Zoombinis to pass. 

After completing either path, you will regroup at the second campsite which functions identically to the previous one. After this is the final set of puzzles, The Mountains of Despair. Puzzle #1 is The Lion’s Lair, which involves placing all of the Zoombinis in an order that corresponds to the clues on the walls behind - for example putting all of the mohawk hairstyles before the flat top haircuts. Next is the Mirror Machine, which relies on matching the current Zoombini to the one projected on the opposite wall by using filters to change their features. For example, filters that make the Zoombini appear to have different hair or a different coloured nose. And the final puzzle that blocks the path to the Zoombinis’ new homeland is Bubblewonder Abyss - a maze that Zoombinis must traverse whilst encased inside a bubble. This puzzle involves a lot of forethought and strategy to ensure that you avoid traps and don’t hit other Zoombinis that are also floating around.

The only real issues with Zoombinis is the sheer lack of any sort of help or hints - if you’re stuck on a level, it’s tough - you have to work things out for yourself, and quite often you’ll find yourself having completed a level without even being able to fathom how. A lot of the puzzles revolve around luck and trial and error and on the harder difficulties can become insanely frustrating if you’re a perfectionist like me who wants to save all 16 every time. Losing one means you continue on without them or having to restart the section again - which can be infuriating if you’re on the 3rd and final puzzle in an area. 

However, it is incredibly addicting - and finally figuring out how to complete a puzzle that has stumped you for hours is one of the most satisfying feelings I’ve ever experienced whilst gaming. It’s not the sort of pleasure one derives from lucky item drops, grinding levels or timing - it’s knowing you’ve beaten a 20 year old obtuse puzzle game originally developed for children with your magnificent adult brain. Suck on that, Ulla!