"Look Into My Pies" Alternative Ending!

Did you know that "Look Into My Pies," A.K.A. "The Hypnosis Sketch" originally had a different ending? I wrote *this* ending first, and my two proofreaders said they felt Cat Chaos was too harsh, too mean in it. As a result I re-worked it and used a different ending.

However I did RECORD the original ending - so here it is!

I'll let you be the judge, which do you prefer, this ending, or the YouTube ending? Do you think Cat Chaos was too harsh, or does Charm deserve all the hilarious misfortunes he subjects her to?

Spyro 3: Year Of The Dragon - Funniest Dialogue

Today I’m going to share with you some of the funniest lines of dialogue from Spyro 3: The Year of the Dragon. Insomniac Games did an amazing job at making the original Spyro PS1 trilogy appeal to both kids and adults - and managed to include some genuinely funny dialogue without adding any adult humour to maintain its 3+ rating. One disclaimer though - this list is dialogue from the main game only - no cutscene dialogue - so unfortunately I shan’t be including this gem:

Why, you brazenly avaricious, duplicitous, larcenous ursine!

Tara
Not only is the character of Tara a full-on homage to Lara Croft - she even makes a mockery of the core gameplay of the original Tomb Raider series - “pressing switches” and “pushing boxes around” is literally all I can remember doing in the first games.

Sheila’s Haiku
The fact that all of the characters in Spooky Swamp speak in haiku is funny to begin with - but when Sheila comes out with this - I admit I LOL’d the first time I heard it. I just wasn’t expecting it!

Prince Azrael
All the way through Charmed Ridge, we’re made to believe that the Amy X Azrael scenario is a kidnapping or forced marriage - as it turns out, they’re in love and they’re eloping. What makes this scene even funnier is that Prince Azrael is a biker punk - check out his skull earring and motorbike!

Blue Hedgehog
Do I really need to explain this one? For some reason, we as gamers love it when references to other games show up, either as easter eggs, dialogue or just blatantly like Moneybags does here. It’s especially heartwarming when it’s not a negative reference to a character or series from a rival company.

Moneybags’ Haiku
The unique quirk of Spooky Swamp is that everybody there speaks in haiku - including the non-native NPCs like Sheila and Moneybags. Unlike Sheila however, Moneybags has a clear dislike of haiku, but ironically expresses this using the medium he claims to hate!

Happy Thoughts
Moneybags is such a sarcastic character in the 3rd iteration of Spyro - in the 2nd title, and his debut - he was more or less just a greedy scrooge-like character who was relatively nonplussed if Spyro were to refuse to pay his fees - as if to say, well it’s no skin off my nose if you can’t finish the game. In Spyro 3 however, he started taking things more personally and sometimes really came out with some zingers.

Hockey Players
Growing up, I used to go to watch a lot of live ice hockey games - so I knew they often got violent. Hearing Nancy say this so nonchalantly in an attempt to make Spyro feel guilty was just hilarious - though as this glorified escort quest was so bloody frustrating, watching her get whacked across the rink with a hockey stick made me LOL every time.

Another Sequel
A fine example of a developer poking fun at themselves here - and also a weird prediction for the future. At this point, Spyro was onto his 3rd main series game and was in development for a future installment, spin-offs and even crossovers with other franchises - a nice bit of foreshadowing and humour mixed together here, Insomniac.

Slick/Frozen Tongue
Hunter is my most-hated character from the Spyro universe - he’s cocky, overconfident and sometimes can be downright incompetent and obtuse for the sake of it - so seeing him get his comeuppance thanks to you failing is simply heart-warming. It’s also a really unique bet that the Yetis came up with - props to their creativity!

Someone So Purple
Not only is this quote borderline racist to purple-skinned beings, it’s also massively hypocritical - it’s being said by a PURPLE seal! Also, how does the colour of one’s skin affect one’s ability to perform tasks? Idiot seal.

Schooled 'Em
Hunter really knows how to embellish and elaborate, doesn’t he? This line is a vast improvement on his previous “dizzy one-toed sand Gnorcs” comment from a previous level. I really liked this quote and did my best to memorise it as a kid, I just thought it was genius.

Marco
In the vast majority of games, we as the protagonist are lead to believe that everything we do is for the greater good - that you couldn’t possibly be trying to reunite an estranged couple, one side of which wants nothing to do with the quest giver - and has even gone as far as to take out a restraining order!

Feel Really Cold
Another great example of programming in lines of dialogue that actually react in real-time to the things Spyro does and the changes that occur in-game. If you follow the clues to reach these gem barrels by freezing this NPC and using him as a step-stool, once he thaws, he expresses himself thusly.

Sorceress’ Butt
Oh dear Zoe. She has a point, The Sorceress is the most evil Spyro villain thus far - Gnasty Gnorc didn’t kill any dragons, he just froze them. Ripto didn’t hurt anybody, he just enslaved them. The Sorceress outright admits to planning to murder not just the dragons, but also the baby hatchlings - so insulting her appearance is sort of justified… Also, PEGI 3+ rating maintained eloquently.

Hip Hip Hooray
The Hummingbirds do their best to maintain a professional attitude to their CO and remain upright and represent the military as best as they can - but this soldier just couldn’t resist breaking the facade to express her joy.

Trampled
I really liked the attention to detail Spyro 3 added - such as characters having unique dialogue if you were to speak to them outside of the expected times - such as when they’re interacting with the world or its creatures. She has a point though - Spyro isn’t doing much to help this situation in reducing the risk she gets trampled by a water buffalo!

Moneybags Retires
One of the absolute best moments in Spyro 3 was when you got revenge on Moneybags and chased him around Midnight Mountain, flaming and charging him to get all of your extorted gems back. Spyro 2 did something similar, but just showed it through a non-interactive cutscene - Spyro 3 did it way better. To further cement his feeling of utter defeat, he resigns to retire to his most-disliked level and write haiku, which he also admitted to hating.

Cat Thing
Sometimes I forget that Hunter is a cheetah and thus is a member of the feline family. I love cats - so hearing cat-related jokes, puns and humour based around their species quirks is great. Hunter even follows through on this confession by never showing up in any underwater sections without first putting on a wetsuit to keep his fur dry!

Password
Another fine example of Moneybags being an absolute savage. I don’t even think this door even had a password, I think he was just acting as a greedy gatekeeper then rubbing your nose in it when you had no option but to cough up to get past him...

Kitchen Duty
Yep, clearly the seals found Bluto the Rhynoc as difficult as I did when I was a kid. I suffered numerous deaths at the hands of this cheating scumbag with his souped-up overpowered nuclear shark submarine. Yet when I did finally manage to destroy it using my naff little speedboat - oh, felt so good.