Petty Niggles: Borderlands 2's Shitty Snow Effects

I loved the original Borderlands - and it had been a while since I treated myself to a new game, so I invested in a copy of Borderlands 2. Yes, I know I'm almost 2 years late, but listen to me for a minute. 

When Borderlands 2 came out in the UK, during launch week and for the first few months, it was around £30-£39.99 in shops and online. I waited and for virtually the same price, I bought the Deluxe Vault Hunter's Edition (because I love collectors editions and all the random goodies they come packaged with) and the season pass, which contains all 4 DLC campaigns. The game was £26 and the season pass was £19.99. So for just over the original retail price - I've gotten the game, all of the bonus goodies (including the amazing Marcus bobblehead) and all 4 DLC packs. And all I had to do was wait 2 years. :P

Seriously - when most games come out, their collector's editions range from £80 to like £150 - wait a few years and you can get them from £10-£50 (depending on the game, of course - Duke Nukem Forever's limited edition is only £12 now, while Fallout: New Vegas is still around £60) I'm considering buying some of the limited editions when I get some money - just for the lovely boxes, art books and bonus crap - even if I already have the standard game (i.e. Duke Nukem Forever, Alan Wake, Fable III etc.)

Anyway - after waiting like 4 hours for the game and all of the DLC packs to bloody install, I've been playing it non-stop. I love it, it's awesome. So far, I wouldn't say it's AS immersive as the original, but I can sense change in the air. Or should I say, the snow.

Yes, the snow. It's getting on my nerves. Not because of the atmosphere, or the sound effects or anything like that. But because of THIS:

Why is the fucking snow hitting the screen?! Does REAL snow hit you in the EYES? No, it fucking doesn't! Even if you wear glasses, like I do - snow doesn't plaster itself all up in your eyeballs. And snow that falls as slowly and gently as the snow in Borderlands 2 certainly doesn't! You'd need to be standing in a serious blizzard with a motorbike helmet on! And how many of the four starting character actually wear something over their face/eyes? ONE. It's Zero. Who I am NOT playing as! I'm playing as the Siren character, Maya (because I played as Lilith in Borderlands 1 and loved the Siren's ability). She doesn't wear ANYTHING on her head!

You would think by now, with video games becoming more realistic and whatnot - they'd iron out this sort of shit. But no. Even sometimes in games like Fallout 3/New Vegas when the screen gets covered in blood, I think it's a bit too much - but you seriously need to be getting hit in the face, get a crippling blow to the head or be popping out of your mam's fanny before the screen really gets blurry and bloodied up. 

Unless your character wears glasses or a helmet - rain/snow/blood/etc should NOT be hitting the goddamn screen!

Video Game SPOILER T-SHIRTS!

WARNING:

The following post contains MASSIVE spoilers regarding the following games:

9 Hours, 9 Persons, 9 Doors

Alice: Madness Returns

Batman: Arkham City

Bioshock

Dead Space

Heavy Rain

Hotel Dusk: Room 215

Mirror's Edge

Red Dead Redemption

Silent Hill 2

Zero Escape: Virtue's Last Reward

If you plan to play any of these games in the near future, don't say you weren't warned!

---------------------------------------------

Remember my custom-made Final Fantasy VII t-shirt? 

Well I was thinking to myself, if FF7 was a more recent game, I could potentially get my head kicked in if someone who hadn't finished the game saw me wearing it and I thus ruined the one major spoiler in the game for them. Well, Final Fantasy VII is almost 17 years old now and available on many different platforms. There is NO EXCUSE to have not played it!

During the massive hype regarding the release of one of those shitty Harry Potter books, you could buy a shirt that said: "DUMBLEDORE DIES ON PAGE ___" (I'm not fucking sad enough to know which page) - and I thought it was fucking amazing. 

So, using my amazing Adobe Photoshop skills, I've created a collection of video game SPOILER T-SHIRTS. If I ever frequent Zazzle.co.uk, again to make myself another shirt, I will consider making one of these:

"Osterzone is Dunning Smith" is my personal favourite out of this collection I've made. Unfortunately, as Hotel Dusk is a rare gem that nobody has played, its effect would probably sail right over everybody's head.

When I get some more ideas (and finish some more games that I still haven't played yet, despite their critical acclaim and hype *cough*Skyrim*cough*), I might make some more SPOILER T-SHIRTS to amuse you all. :D

Also, feel free to use a site like Zazzle.co.uk to make your own versions of my digital shirts!

The Unwritten Rules Of Animal Crossing Island That Everybody Should Follow!

As a regular frequenter of the Animal Island in Animal Crossing: New Leaf, I have compiled a list of basic rules that everybody should follow. If Nintendo ever decide to write an Animal Crossing Code Of Conduct - they should take my advice!

---------------------------------------------

1. Say hello - Whenever someone new arrives on the island, just say "hi", or even "yo", it's two letters and it'll make them feel welcome. I like to chat to people on the island, mainly because I'm quite a fast typer and I like to make new friends, but when people don't even acknowledge my presence, I get a bit pissed off. ¬_¬

2. Don't ragequit - If someone pisses you off, block them and leave.  There is no fucking need to turn off your wi-fi. I must've lost about a million bells' worth of bugs and sharks due to wankers ragequitting - whenever I get that sodding error message, I feel like KILLING someone. 

3. Ask about tours - If you want to go on tours with other people, just ask them! "Wanna go on a tour?" or even "tours?" will suffice. I get a bit pissed when people just go and set up tours without me. And if they don't want to - that's fine, just leave them to whatever they were doing and go by yourself!

4. Take turns picking tours - If someone does agree to go on a tour with you, ask them what they like to do. It pisses me off no end when people don't ask what tours I like and I end up doing wank ones like the hammer tour. Also, ask about the difficulty - I can easily do the 3-star tour of all of the levels, so when people pick beginner, I feel like pulling out my hair. 

5. Look at peoples' TCPs - Just seeing what badges they have, what their personal message is or even when their birthdays are can open up some conversation. I have the web address to this blog on my TCP, and I love it when people say "hey, what's that website?" or "is that a link to a blog?" and I'm like YES READ IT PLZ LOL KTHNX. 

6. Have your friend code written down - Some people use the island as a way to exchange friend codes and you cannot press the home button and see what your code is when you are online. Having it written down on a piece of paper or in a notebook makes everybody's life easier. 

7. Don't try and steal bugs/fish - If you see someone fishing by a shark or approaching a bug on a tree with a net in their hand, LEAVE THEM ALONE. They saw it first, they're entitled to it. There's a time and a place for competing, and that is on tours! While you are working together, you can also compete to see who can catch the most and earn the most medals. 

8. Don't take your 3DS into the bathroom with you - Not only for reasons of hygiene, straying too far away from your Wi-Fi router or hub can cause your 3DS to lose connection and give everyone else an error message, causing them to resent you. I've done this by accident once with my fiancee Shelly and she wasn't happy. :)

9. Don't fucking beg for bells - Jesus Christ if there's one thing that pisses me off, it's wankers who beg for bells. Yes, I have 50 million bells in the bank and 4 fully upgraded houses. I earned my money through catching bugs on the island and my time-travelling turnip scam; but why the fuck should I give it to you? Begging for money is for filthy gippos (British slang, look it up) - if you want money, make me an offer. Sell me your shoes or something. But stop fucking begging, you whinging, greedy, lazy prick holes. 

10. STOP FUCKING RUNNING - If you see someone with a net or a fishing rod, they are obviously trying to catch bugs or fish - do them a favour and fucking WALK. It's not difficult. The island is only small, you hardly need to be fucking charging around like a gazelle on steroids. I have so much resentment towards people who scare away rare beetles and fucking sharks. 

11. Stop digging holes/cutting down trees - Seriously, why do people do this? Especially when they see me with a big net, they take it upon themselves to chop down all the sodding trees. OK, fine, if you want those bugs that live on tree stumps, cut down ONE tree. As for digging holes, I've come across a lot of islands where people are making fucking 'mazes' or some shit, but seriously, what is the fucking point? 

12. Watch your fucking language - Lmao. OK, well I play Animal Crossing online at like 11PM at night, sometimes until like 3AM. I sometimes swear when I talk to people, but little kids shouldn't really be playing at that time of night. But during the day or if you suspect young players are on the island with you, watch what you say - especially when it comes to anything sexual or suggestive. I'm really surprised Nintendo didn't put a block on swear words like they did in the other Animal Crossing games - and they weren't even really focused on playing online as much as New Leaf is. 

13. Counter-troll the trolls - For some reason there are a lot of trolls who go to the Animal Crossing island. You know, those wankers who beg for money, run around to scare your bugs and fish, try and block you in by digging holes and basically doing everything I've mentioned above. Well the best way I've found to deal with them (other than blocking them of course), is to KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON. Keep trying to catch stuff. They can't scare away butterflies, they can't be on both sides of the island at once and they can't scare away sea creatures. One troll soon decided to leave me alone after he didn't manage to stop me from catching 5 Goliath beetles and a saw shark. Alternatively, if there are two or more people on the island - block the trolls in by using holes and yourselves. If you both stand on either side inbetween two lines of holes, they can't get out. :)

A Rant About: Nexuiz

Let me tell you a story. 

I once saw a game called Nexuiz for sale on Xbox Live Arcade. It had been reduced to 200 Microsoft Points. I jumped at the chance to get a game so cheap. I didn't realise that Nexuiz is a shitty online sci-fi first-person-shooter that I hated. I'm not the biggest fan of online first-person-shooters, but some can be fun. Nexuiz consists of repetitive environments, bog-standard weaponry, retarded power-ups and frequent level sections that leave you bouncing around in the air from jump platform to jump platform. 

I played for an hour and was unfortunate enough to get 15G worth of achievements.
Why unfortunate? Because the publisher, THQ went out of business soon after its release, the game was delisted from Xbox Live Arcade and the online servers were shut down.

With the unfortunate events that have took place for well-known publishers THQ over the past few months, it's unsurprising to see their XBLA title, Nexuiz vanish from the Games Marketplace, especially after the servers for the game just recently felt the wrath of the shutdown-axe, too.

Nexuiz was recently part of a game publisher weekend deal that saw the game reduced from 800 MSP to 200 MSP. Many of you will have probably scooped the title up at the time, but if you didn't get around to starting the game, then the completion won't be coming your way anytime soon. Based around first-person online multiplayer madness, the server shutdown has rendered nine of the 12 achievements unobtainable. With no warning or notice to the servers being switched off, this is just the harsh way the cookie has crumbled for this particular THQ title. 

That is the quote provided to explain what happened.

So, if you have Nexuiz on your harddrive and have never played it - well done, you avoided this glitchy, broken and otherwise horrible game. Delete it and free up around 1000MB of space that can be used to store less shitty games.

If you are like me and have a few achievements - get used to the incomplete status. It has forever ruined your achievement completion percentage.